


Persuasion

by lemotmo



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-25
Updated: 2005-09-25
Packaged: 2019-05-30 23:45:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15107267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemotmo/pseuds/lemotmo
Summary: Sequel toAncient History





	1. Persuasion

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Persuasion, Part 1**

**by:** Ellen  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Fluff  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al  
**Summary:** Sequel to Ancient History  
**Spoiler:** pre-series  
**Written:** 6/21/03  


"MOM, I'M HOOOOOME!" 

Donna threw her backpack against the wall in the hallway. She then quickly entered the kitchen. While opening the fridge in search of a snack she started talking. 

"Mom, you'll never believe what happened today. Stacey Wilder had this huge fight with Tommy Waitts. So now he's not taking her to the `Spring Dance' anymore. You know what he did then? Uh, you'll never guess ... but try anyway!" 

She grabbed a strawberry yoghurt from the top shelve and then went in search for a clean spoon. She quickly found one in the bottom drawer. She lifted herself on the counter and made sure she sat comfortable before she started eating. It was then that it occurred to her that her mother hadn't answered her question yet. 

"Mom, are you listening? Come on, take a guess ... Mom?" 

She hopped of the counter and entered the spacious, light living room only to find it empty. Her face got a puzzled look. When she came home from school her mother was usually sitting in the living room, resting and reading a book. Now her armchair was empty. 

"Mom?" 

Again she was welcomed by nothing but silence. 

"MOOOOOOM!" 

Suddenly she heard a thud coming from upstairs. It was quickly followed by a voice. 

"DONNA? ARE YOU HOME ALREADY? MY GOD, I HADN'T NOTICED IT WAS 4 O'CLOCK! WELL, WHY DON'T YOU COME UP? I'M IN THE ATTIC!" 

"The attic? WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?" 

"WELL, I'M JUST ... LOOK ... JUST COME UPSTAIRS, WILL YOU?" 

Donna sighed in resignation. She really didn't want to go up to the attic, but she had no choice. She had heard the tone in her mother's voice. The tone that said `don't contradict me, Donnatella Moss'. So, she quickly ate the last of her yoghurt and put the small jar and spoon in the sink. Then she slowly started climbing the stairs while muttering to herself. 

"Fine, I'm coming. It's not like I have anything better to do than to sit in the attic with my mother. I mean, it's not like Jimmy asked me to go for a drink after school ... the idiot!" 

Standing before the attic door she paused for a moment. For as long as she could remember she had always been kind of reluctant to go up to the attic. There was something about it that just didn't feel comfortable. It was a bit scary and the place had always freaked her out. 

"Donna! What is taking you so long? Don't you ..." 

Donna heard footsteps coming closer and her mother's voice became clearer with every word and suddenly the door opened. 

~~~ 

Maria was a bit startled by the sight of her daughter whose eyes were transfixed on the stairs behind her, stairs that led to the big room right under the roof. She looked at her youngest for a moment, not quite sure what to think of the look in her eyes and then she understood. 

"Oh God, Donna ... don't tell me you're still afraid to come up here! It's just a big, old, dusty room. Nothing to worry about." 

"No, mom, of course not ... nothing to worry about but giant spiders lurking from the shadows, waiting to launch themselves at you from their even bigger webs." 

Donna shrugged her shoulders and her mother saw a chill going through her body while thinking of the giant black eight-legged freaks hiding in the attic. 

"Donna, spiders are nothing to be afraid of and you know that. In fact ..." 

"Yes, yes, I know! They do good things, they eat insects and stuff. That might all be true, but it still doesn't take away that they are ugly little critters. I mean, you know, if nature wanted to create an insect that did good for the environment ... why not make it a little more friendly looking? If spiders were like two-legged, pink, furry animals ... I wouldn't be afraid at all!" 

Maria couldn't help but laugh while listening to her daughter's flawless logic. As always her Donna had come up with another solution to make the world a better place. And it always worked too -well, that is to say- it worked in her head and in the world she had created there. Her imagination was something that Maria loved most about her daughter. It had made her love this child more than the others. Tommy, her first-born, had always been a very level-headed kid and he chose the perfect career to use and nourish his ability to always firmly remain with his two feet on the ground. He became an accountant. And then you had Davigna, the middle-child, a very introvert shy girl that could draw and paint like no one else. She went to the art academy and was currently in the middle of creating images to put in a new children's book. Yes, she also had some imagination and she knew how to translate her thoughts into a drawing on a piece of paper ... but ... Donna ... she had always had the gift of vividly seeing and feeling whatever she fabricated in her mind. And that was exactly the reason why Maria loved her youngest the most. Well, that and the fact that Donna was a child they never planned on having. She and Ralph, her husband, had already given up on having children after Davigna had turned nine years old. And then, unexpectedly, they were blessed with another daughter. 

A small smile appeared on Maria's face while thinking of the day she had found out she was pregnant. It had been one of the happiest days in her life. She had never expected that she would be given another chance to bring life into the world, but she did get it and the result was now standing in front of her. A beautiful 16-year old girl with long blonde hair and braces. 

"Mom?" 

Maria heard the questioning tone in her daughter's voice and focused back on Donna, still standing in front of her. 

~~~ 

The girl looked at her mother intently. It seemed like she had been miles away for the briefest of moments, but now she was back. 

"What are you doing up there anyway?" 

She slightly nodded her head in the direction of the attic. 

"Ah, why don't you come with me so you can see for yourself what I'm doing?" 

At that Maria turned around and went back up the narrow stairs. 

Donna sighed one more time and then slowly started following her mother up the stairs, still not able to shake the creepy feeling that spiders were lurking from the shadows. But, she had to admit she had become very curious over why her mother was so secretive about what she was doing up there. So, her curiosity finally overwon her fear. 

And it was worth it, because as soon as she had reached the top step she saw what her mother had been hiding. Everywhere she could see were photographs. On the floor, on the sheets draped over the old furniture, on top of the wooden beams that held up the roof, on the boxes of old abandoned toys she and her brother and sister used to play with. Donna started moving around, being careful so she wouldn't step on one of the pictures. 

"Wow ... mom ... where do all these photographs come from?" 

She turned around again to look at her mom who had taken place on the floor surrounded by the images of a distant -and sometimes not so distant- past. 

"Well, it occurred to me that I've been taking so many pictures over so many years, but I've never once taken the time to look at them and to remember the occasion and the emotion that each of these represent. So, I decided today might as well be as good a day as any to start going through them and write something on the back ... you know ... why the picture was taken in the first place. Although I have to admit ... it's not easy ... some of these photographs are pretty old and I have absolutely no recollection anymore why they were taken. But ... sometimes I find a picture that has captured a moment in time that I have never forgotten and then I just write something on the back, that way I can't forget and you and Tommy and Davigna won't forget either. You know ... for when me and your dad will be gone." 

Donna just stood there and said nothing, she just smiled at her mother who was almost in tears. She looked around again at all those memories that had been collected over the years and suddenly the attic didn't seem such a scary place anymore. 

"I think it's a good idea, but I'm also thinking that if you are going to do this alone--" 

She stopped for a moment, glancing around and gathering her thoughts before she continued. 

" --you will probably have to sit here for another five years. So, what do you say to an extra pair of eyes and hands?" 

Maria chuckled. 

"I was hoping you'd say that, because I've been sitting here all day, my back is killing me and -to be honest- I haven't really gotten anywhere yet." 

"Well then, what are we doing just standing around and wasting time? Let's start!" 

And so mother and daughter started going through the photographs. Some memories so good that they made them laugh out loud and other memories so sad that they almost made them cry ... 

~ 

A few hours later Donna was sitting on the floor between piles and piles of catalogued pictures. She was stretching her aching back and waiting for her mother to return from the kitchen. They had been so busy that they hadn't noticed what time it was, until Donna's stomach decided to protest to the lack of food. It was then that her mother had announced to go downstairs to make some sandwiches. They could eat them in the attic, that way they didn't lose any time. Her father wouldn't be home for another few hours and Tommy and Davigna had already moved out of their parent's house years ago. So, Maria and Donna had the place for themselves for a while. 

While waiting for her mother she was absentmindedly going through another box of photographs she had retrieved from the old wardrobe that used to belong to her grandparents. She was quickly flipping through them when her eyes got drawn to a picture at the bottom of the box. The top part of the photograph was sticking out of the pile and on it she saw a part of a face. Well, actually just a pair of eyes and a bunch of -very unruly- curls. There was something about those eyes that had caught her attention in the first place. It was like she had seen them before, but she didn't know where. She reached out and pulled the picture out, causing the other images to tumble down into the box. She didn't care though. She was now solely fixed on the photograph in her hand and that was exactly how her mother found her, minutes later, when she entered the room with a plate of sandwiches. 

"Hey, what are you looking at? Can I see?" 

Donna slowly and reluctantly looked up from the photograph and handed her mother the image. 

~~~ 

Maria was puzzled for a moment. When was this taken? And who was in the picture? Of course she recognised Donna. She was just a little girl, she seems to be about 4 years old. That was not her question. She was more intrigued by the boy standing next to her, there was something about him -she almost- and then it dawned on her. 

"Of course! How could I not remember it! This is him, Donna ...!" 

She was looking at her daughter now, who was staring back at her with only one question on her lips. 

"Who ... him?" 

"Him! Oh, you were only four ... so I suppose you can't remember! But it was so cute though, although you had scared me to death that day ... running away like that." 

Now Maria was just rambling loose facts and Donna wasn't any closer to the answer. 

"Mom ... please, get a grip and tell me who he is!" 

"Oh, Donna it's him, the man -well- boy really, although he will be a man right now. I mean, he was what ... fifteen and it's like twelve years ago -that would make him- yeah, way too old for you!" 

Maria looked at her daughter again and was met by the eyes of a very annoyed 16-year old girl. 

"All right, all right -it's him- the boy you were going to marry." 

"M-M-M-marry?" 

"Yes, don't you remember? I could have sworn I told you this story before. You know ... about the time when you were four and we visited the White House. You got lost and were found by this boy and he took care of you and made sure you were okay. Then you went on to telling the President of the United States that you were going to marry him, that was right before we left and we took this picture of the two of you. It was so cute! You had this whole 4-year old adoration for this boy going on." 

"4-year old adoration?" Donna questioned while frowning her eyebrows. 

"Well, you know what I mean." 

~~~ 

Donna took the picture from her mother's hands and looked at it again. Now she remembered -well- only what her mother had told her about that day. She didn't have any recollection of it herself, since she was only four when it happened. So this was him, the guy she had proposed to. She saw the way he was holding on to her hand, her tiny hand was clenched in his. It was almost endearing ... if it hadn't been so completely, utterly humiliating! Yes, she had heard the story before and so had the rest of her family ... and the neighbours ... and of course her parent's friends, the colleagues from her parent's offices, her teachers ... well, probably the whole wide world knew about this! 

Still, there was something about the picture she couldn't let go. She pondered briefly over the fact of putting the photograph on one of the piles, but something stopped her. 

"Mom? What was his name?" 

"Oh God, I don't remember. It's such a long time ago, honey. It was something with an `o' in it, but there are so many names with `o' ... Ross ... no, that's not it. Maybe John ... no, no ... I really don't remember." 

"Yeah ... hey, mom?" 

"Hmmm." 

"Would it be okay if I were to hold on to this one?" 

"Yeah, sure ... Why? Want to make googly eyes at your future husband?" 

"MOOOM!" 

"Okay, okay ... I got the message! Don't talk about that humiliating -as you seem to think of it- part of your life anymore! But, first, let me write something on the back. So you will never forget why this was taken." 

"Oh, I don't know ... is it really necessary? I won't forget." 

"Donna ..." 

"Yeah, yeah ... here you go." 

She gave the picture back to her mom and waited while she was writing something on the back. After two minutes her mother handed it back to her. Donna flipped the image around and read the text. 

"Oh, great mom ... now the humiliation is complete! I will never be able to show this photograph to anyone with this written on the back." 

Her mother just grinned. 

"Well, it's the truth isn't it?" 

"Yeah, I guess. Good, now ... we have been wasting way too much time. Let's get back to work." 

"Okay, I was thinking that if we put these images ..." 

~ 

Again a few hours later Donna was lying in bed. She was really tired because of the work she had been doing, but still she couldn't seem to fall asleep. It was frustrating. So, she decided to think about Jimmy Rains for a while. Jimmy was a senior and very, very cute. Donna had noticed him the first day she started attending high school and she had always had a crush on him. Well, she and the entire female population of `Madison High' had always had a crush on him, but that wasn't the issue. You see, the word was that Tammy Samuko had heard from a friend, that had heard from another friend, that had heard from William Fosters that Jimmy thinks that Donna is COOL! And everyone knows that William Fosters is Jimmy's best friend. And that was exactly why she was upset. Isn't it normal that if you like someone, you tell this person and maybe ask her out? But so far Jimmy had not come up to her yet to utter his undying devotion and love to her. As a matter of fact ... he hadn't even given her as much as a glance. It was like she didn't even exist to him. 

"It probably isn't even true," she whispered to her empty room. 

"Why is it that no guy is ever interested in me? What's wrong with me? I've never even had a real boyfriend and I'm sixteen already." 

And as all 16-year old girls who are wallowing in self-pity, she couldn't help but wonder about the fact if there was someone out there that was right for her. Someone who knew her better than she knew herself. Someone who could always make her laugh. Someone that could comfort her when she needed it. Someone she could be strong for. Someone who would love her and someone she could love back. Then she remembered something. 

"Maybe ..." 

She turned on the little light on her nightstand and leaned over to the side of the bed. And there is was, on the floor, right were she had left it before she went to put on her pyjamas. The photograph she couldn't just dismiss like all the others. She didn't know why, but it was important somehow. She picked it up and she looked at the boy again. She studied his face and his eyes. He had this funny, crooked smile and two dimples on each side of his mouth. 

"Is it you?" 

She had whispered the question and she almost expected an answer. But then it hit her. Suddenly she realised how silly she was. This guy would be in his late twenties by now and he would probably already be married. For all she knew he could be living in some trailer park, where he gets himself drunk each night only to go home to his wife and yell at her ... but then again. She started to chew on her bottom lip, something she always did when she was deeply pondering about something. 

"Oh, come on Donna ... He won't even remember you!" 

Now she was talking to herself. She found that it often helped her to deal with tricky problems. 

No, He won't even remember her ... just some stupid 4-year old he had once met. She started giggling when she thought about how weird it had to look. A girl lying in bed pining away over a guy -an old guy- in a photograph she met once, like a million days ago. She wanted to get out of bed and throw it away in her wastepaper basket, but just as before something stopped her. As if some greater power told her not to do it. 

"Fine, I'll just put it aside and I won't think about it again." 

She reached under the bed and found what she was looking for. She pulled her hand back and in it was an old worn-out book. It was her most favourite book ever, called 'Persuasion' and was written by Jane Austen. She looked at the image one last time, opened the book at a random page and carelessly tossed the picture between it. She then leaned back over and put the book back under the bed. 

"Now that that's taken care of I can get some sleep." 

She turned out the light and made herself comfortable under the blankets again. A few minutes later she was sound asleep. 

~Epilogue~ 

And for the second time the photograph had been tossed aside. It would be forgotten. Hidden between the pages of an old book that gathered nothing but dust over the years. Carefully stashed away, only to re-emerge from its hiding place years and years later.


	2. Persuasion 2

 

**Persuasion, Part 2**

**by:** Ellen  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Fluff  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al  
**Summary:** Sequel to Ancient History  
**Spoiler:** pre-series  
**Written:** 7/1/03  


* * *

"Okay, I can do this ... I can ... I really can -yeah- I can do this! I'm a strong and independent woman ... well, semi-independent if you include some recent events in my life." 

Donna Moss was riding her 18-year old car down the freeway. She was on her way to Manchester, New Hampshire. After seeing the speech from presidential candidate Josiah Bartlet on TV the other night, she had decided to drive all the way from Madison to Manchester to make a physical contribution to his campaign. She felt she really had something to give and since she had absolutely nothing to contribute in the financial department -well- she might as well go out there and give them a helping hand. 

Now she was trying to convince herself that she was making the right choice. That joining some unknown Governor's presidential campaign on a whim wasn't some crazy and stupid thing to do. 

"There's nothing stupid about it, absolutely nothing stupid about it. Okay, you -you sexy thing- you just walk in there and blow these people away with your charms, intelligence and sense of humour ... you foxy -uh, who are you kidding- ugly, tired beat-up old bat!" 

She was looking at herself in the rear-view mirror and what she saw there didn't please her at all. There were two bags under her eyes that she thought made her look like a big bulgy-eyed toad. 

"Oh, great. Now I'm comparing myself to a toad. There goes my resolution to start anew with a great sense of self-esteem." 

Frustrated she slammed her palms against the steering wheel, causing a slight tremor to go through the car. 

"AUWWW! Damn, that hurt!" 

At that exact moment she saw the smoke and heard the noises ... both coming from under the hood. 

"OH ... NO! Not now ... shit, shit! Why can't things just go my way for once! Everything keeps going wrong!" 

She managed to steer the vehicle to the side of the road and then, after making on more extremely loud squeaking noise, it totally gave out. 

"Swell ... just swell! Thank you God for this lovely ... yet U-N-E-X-P-E-C-T-E-D gift! But, then again, I have had so many 'wonderful' things coming my way recently, that I should have seen this one coming!" 

Now she just sat there, behind the steering wheel of her broken car, on the side of the freeway. She looked in the mirror again. 

"Okay, Moss ... you are not going to let yourself be stopped by this -minor- technicality. Well, granted ... you don't really know anything about cars and you are in the middle of ... not exactly nowhere but let's not forget that you know absolutely no one around here. Okay -do not despair- you'll find a way out ... 'cause that's what you do and what you're good at ... finding a way out of difficult situations. You are like that ... intelligent and well-organised!" 

She deeply inhaled and exhaled a few times in order to calm herself down and then stepped out of the car. After slamming the door shut and franticly kicking the tyres until her toes hurt she sat down on a small patch of grass right next to the road. She didn't even bother to open up the hood. What good would it do? She didn't know anything about cars and besides ... she knew this car. It had always had a peculiar habit of breaking down for a few hours if she had been driving it too long. She figured it had something to do with the engine being overheated. She didn't know for sure though. She would have to wait and with a little bit of luck and a quick prayer she might be able to resume her course within the hour. 

"Maybe this isn't that bad. I get to rest for a while ... it's not like I have anything better to do." 

While sitting at the edge of the road and watching the cars drive by, she started thinking back of everything that had happened over the last few months. Everything that had been and had brought her to this point in time and space. She especially thought back of that day ... that one day that had changed the course of her life forever. 

~Three months earlier - Madison, Wisconsin~ 

"Oh, come one Martin. This is the first time in four weeks that we have had some time for ourselves and now you tell me you have to work?" 

The voice on the other side of the telephone replied quickly. 

"Donna -baby- I really am sorry, but what do you want me to say? I didn't set fire to that building so that 32 people would get hurt and be brought in to the ER. Okay? It's not my fault, but I have to be here to help and take care of them. That's what I do ... I'm a doctor, well, almost a doctor. I swear to God I'll make it up to you as soon as I can. We'll go to some fancy restaurant you've always wanted to go to and we'll have dinner. Okay? Donna -sweetie- are you still there?" 

Donna sighed heavily before she answered. 

"Fine ... but I'll hold you to that dinner-date. Maybe we can check out `Old Bruges' -you know- that new Belgian place in Victoria Street. It's supposed to be really good." 

"Okay, that's fine. Whatever you want, sugar. I have to go now ... the wounded are starting to come in." 

"Bye ... Love you! Martin ... are you still there?" 

Her ear was still pressed against the receiver but she heard nothing but the dialling tone. He had hung up without saying goodbye. 

She slowly put the receiver back on the phone. 

This was always the way it happened ... a phone call telling her some major disaster had struck and that he couldn't get home because he had to be there to attend to the patients. And she understood that and respected it, but lately it seemed as if there was always something going on at the hospital. Whenever they had made plans to go out ... suddenly an unscheduled meeting would pop up out of nowhere and he had to stay, or a bridge collapsed wounding 15 people ... or an elevator would crash from the 10th floor ... and so on and on and on -It never ended. 

She was worried about him. Martin and her had been together for two years and a half now and they had been living together for a year and 6 months. That's exactly how long ago she had given up her own studies to get a job. The idea was that she would help him get through medical school and after his graduation he would return the favour. She would go back to college and finish her degree while he worked and earned the money. And everything had gone great for the longest of times, but lately ... he always had to work. They never had any personal time anymore. It had been ages since they had gone out and even longer since they had made love for the last time. And now she was genuinely concerned about him. He worked way too hard. If he kept going at this pace ... he would be burned out within a few months. She thought of the long hours that he worked and felt sorry for him and it was at that moment that she had gotten the brilliant idea. 

"He'll love it!" 

As soon as she had made up her mind of going ahead with her plan she started to get everything ready for the surprise. 

"Okay, where did I put ... yes, in the fridge of course." 

She opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of the finest champagnes. She had received the bottle of delightful bubbles for her birthday from her best friend Cindy. She and Martin had decided to open it on a special occasion but up until now they hadn't had any special occasions. Donna figured he wouldn't mind opening it now, because -in a way- it would be a special evening. After all, it isn't every day that your girlfriend surprises you in the hospital wearing nothing but a long raincoat and some kinky underwear. 

She stepped into the bedroom and put on her most recent purchase. By looking in the mirror she approved of what she saw. The red underwear made her alabaster skin look even more beautiful. She quickly took her long grey raincoat out of her wardrobe and put it on. Then she looked back in the mirror and made sure that everything was covered and decent. She didn't want to be arrested for soliciting. 

On her way to the door she grabbed the bottle of champagne and her car keys. Just before stepping outside she thought about what she was about to do. She had never done anything like this before, but Martin deserved a treat. He had been working and studying so hard and she had done nothing but complain about him never being home anymore. Well, tonight she would make it up to him by giving him the biggest surprise he had ever had. 

~ 

"Oh, and what a surprise it had been." 

A bitter smile appeared on her face after she had silently uttered the sentence. She had loved him so much and he had betrayed her. She closed her eyes and felt a sting of pain going through her body when mentally transporting herself back to that night. To what she had seen in the hospital. She had found everything except the things she had expected to find. 

She had expected lots of activity, a disaster, 32 wounded people in desperate need for a doctor. In stead she had found two drunks and a mother with a whining child in her arms. Upon further exploration she had then busted her boyfriend with a tall, dark nurse in one of the emergency rooms on an emergency bed. 

She had just stood there, staring and not listening to his apologies and his pleas. Then, she had simply said goodbye and had turned around. That same night she had packed her bags and left, never to return again. 

For the next three months she had stayed at home with her parents. She didn't tell them the whole story. That was just too embarrassing. But, she had given them a general idea of what had happened and they accepted her as if she had never left. 

For weeks she had been punishing herself for being stupid enough to give up everything for a man. She swore to herself to never love a man to that extend again. Her entire future had been thrown away by her own stupidity. She didn't blame Martin for that. She was the one who had said `yes' when he had made the proposition of her helping him through medical school. No one else was to blame for that. She vowed to herself that she would never let anyone hurt her like that again. 

After the short period of blaming herself for everything she fell into the pit of despair, not knowing where she was going or what she wanted to do with her future. She briefly pondered about going back to college, but somehow it didn't quite have the same appeal anymore. She would have to start all over again and get into the rhythm of going to school and studying and she just knew she wasn't up to that ... at least not for now. So, she lived from day to day without setting any goals ... until yesterday. 

~Yesterday evening - the Moss' house~ 

"Mom, will you please SHUT UP!" 

Donna felt like breaking something. All day long her mother had been talking about the upcoming presidential elections. She had not been able to shut up about the candidate from New Hampshire. A democratic Governor called Josiah Bartlet. She heard him speak on the radio and according to her he had made a very inspiring speech. 

Donna on the other hand had already made up her mind about him. He was a man and therefore no good. And that was that. 

~~~ 

Maria had turned on the television and was hopping from channel to channel, not really paying attention to her daughter's pleas. She just kept babbling about the speech. It was her way of dealing with Donna's horrible mood. In the beginning her girl had been blaming herself for whatever had happened between her and Martin, but the last couple of days things had made a turn for the worse. Now her youngest was wallowing in self-pity and that was never a good place to be at. She was really getting worried about her daughter -her Donna- who had obviously been hurt by that idiot of a man. She had never told her what happened, but Maria had some ideas of what may have transpired that day -yes- that day when their girl suddenly and very unexpectedly had appeared on their doorstep ... in tears. Of course they had welcomed her with open arms. She was, just like their other children, always welcome at home. 

Now Donna was sitting next to her on the couch, quickly scanning some magazine. Lately it seemed as if nothing interested her anymore and that scared Maria more than anything. Donna had always had a vivid imagination but it seemed that was one of the things that died when Martin had betrayed her. She just hoped that her girl would find her way again and that she would be alright. But then she briefly stopped worrying because her attention was drawn back to the television-set when suddenly a strong and powerful voice boomed out of the speakers. 

~~~ 

Upon the first sentence she heard Donna lifted her head and was captivated by the words of the man that appeared on the small screen before her. 

" --I believe that all of you hold the future of this great nation in the palm of your hand. Leave it not upon another to decide what this future will bring, but each of you has to decide for themselves. For it is only you that has the power to change and the will to make our country stronger than it has ever been before. Do not hesitate to fight for the change you want, the change -you all know- we need. Listen to your heart and be true to it, if you follow the path it shows you ... you cannot get lost. For it is the righteous path and it will lead us to glory and will bring hope to the ones who need it most. Give me a chance to lead you into this 'Brave new world' and--" 

That was all she needed to hear -all she had ever needed to hear. It was then that Donna decided to throw all her belongings in the car and to drive to Manchester to join the Bartlet-campaign. It was her path, the path her heart was showing. 

~ 

And that path had brought her to where she was currently sitting ... a patch of grass on the side of the freeway to New Hampshire. She couldn't help but smile. Her goal had been set, all she had to do now was reach for it. She quickly glanced at her watch and noticed that an hour and 15 minutes had already passed since her car had broken down. She quickly stood up and carelessly rubbed the pieces of dried grass from her black trousers. 

"Well, there's no time like the present. Let's see if the old lady here is up for another few miles." 

She opened the car door and settled in the seat. 

"Okay ... car ... it's really important that I get to Manchester in time before they all leave. So, you have to work ... otherwise I'll be late and that would really suck. So, please ... please start." 

She placed the key in the ignition and closed her eyes while turning it. When she heard the familiar starting sound she let out the breath she had unconsciously been holding. 

"Yes, thank you! Okay ... Donna ... go gather ye rosebuds! You can do it!" 

She drove the car back on the road and was once again on her way to whatever the future held for her. 

After three hours she arrived in Manchester. It didn't take too much time to locate the campaign headquarters. It almost seemed like every road led to her destination. She quickly found a parking space and she turned of the engine. In stead of exciting the car, she remained seated and started questioning her abilities again. 

'Maybe I should just go back. This isn't a good idea -I mean- I'm a college drop-out. Who the hell is going to want me around? Well ... I suppose it couldn't hurt to just go inside for a moment and check things out. You know -smell the atmosphere- before they kick me out again.' 

She summoned all her courage and stepped out of the car. After taking a few deep breaths to calm down she entered the building. 

"Amazing ..." 

This was the only word she could utter. Everywhere she looked people were telephoning, meeting, strategizing and laughing. It was as if she'd entered a family gathering, with the only difference being that these people weren't related in any way. But still they were fighting together to get this man elected to president. This man they all believed in. The energy of the place was overwhelming. How could you not want to work with these people upon seeing this display of pure devotion and friendship. 

Two men wrapped up in a discussion came her way and she decided to take her chance. 

"Uhm, excuse me ... could you tell me if there's anything I can do around here. Is there some way I can help?" 

One of the men briefly glanced her way and gave her a short reply. 

"I heard they are looking for a few new assistants. Speak to Margaret. She's in charge of that task." 

At that he focused all his attention back on his friend and continued his previous train of thought. 

"I'm telling you, Ed ... there's no way that--" 

Donna looked around the room again. All she needed to do was find Margaret. 

'But who the Hell is Margaret?' 

She slowly started moving through the room, making sure she wasn't disturbing anyone. 

"Excuse me, do you know Margaret?" 

The dark-haired woman she had asked the question quickly replied ... 

"Yes, I do." 

... and moved on. 

"Great! Way to go Donna," she muttered. 

She climbed the nearest staircase and passed the doorframe of a very small and untidy office. The thought entered her mind that whomever worked there was not a very organised person. The desk was covered under thick layers of books, papers and documents and suddenly somewhere from under this heap of -well, crap basically- a telephone started ringing. She quickly glanced around looking for someone to enter the cramped office in order to answer the phone, but no one responded. 

She made a step in the direction of the office while biting her bottom lip. 

"Well, they were looking for assistants. And that's what assistants do ... they pick up phones ... right?" 

And then it was decided. After mulling it over in her head a few times she had convinced herself that there really was no harm in picking up a ringing phone. All she needed to know now was whose phone she was answering. A quick glance at the glass next to the entrance of the office answered that question. 

JOSHUA LYMAN - SENIOR POLITICAL DIRECTOR

She stepped into the office and removed a stack of folders in order to get to the phone. She located it fairly quickly right next to a calendar with some names and times scribbled on it. Amazingly enough the phone was still ringing. Whomever it was, it had to be urgent. Then she picked up the phone and said in her most professional and businesslike voice: 

"Bartlet for America, Joshua Lyman's office." 

~Epilogue~ 

She didn't know it yet, but those words and the name she used would be the beginning of a whole new chapter in her life. A chapter that would bring her lots of happiness and unfortunately also quite some sorrow. 

And the photograph? Still safely tucked away in a book under a bed somewhere in Madison, Wisconsin. Don't worry ... it'll pop up again! 


	3. Persuasion 3

 

**Persuasion, Part 3**

**by:** Ellen  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Fluff  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al  
**Summary:** Sequel to Ancient History  
**Spoiler:** pre-series  
**Written:** 7/4/03  


* * *

"Boring, boring, boring, ... I'm telling you, Sam. Never in my life have I met a man with such a boring voice that it actually made me fall asleep." 

The attractive dark-haired man gave his friend a small smile but didn't react to his statement. In Sam's mind Josh falling asleep had a lot more to do with the amount of beer he had digested the night before. 

"Yeah, Josh ... sure! Listen, I got to go ... I have a meeting with Toby." 

"Hmm, you two are still arguing over the speech for the `Women Against Domestic Violence Group', aren't you?" 

"Yes -I'm telling you- one of these days the man is going to explode! The way he manages to blow everything out of proportion is amazing!" 

"Well, good luck." 

"Thanks, I can use it!" 

With that Sam Seaborn walked away, leaving Joshua Lyman alone. Josh stared after his friend for a moment and then made his way to his office, his mind still on Toby's awful temper. He approached the doorframe of his office, still deep in thought. A grin appeared on his face when thinking about what horror Sam would be facing by now. He entered his office to grab a few documents he needed for one of the volunteers. He was already turning around to leave again when he noticed the woman. A tall, blonde woman with a very melodious and professional sounding voice was in his office, talking on his phone ... talking about him. 

~~~ 

"Josh Lyman ... No, he's not available right now ... this afternoon? He's got a media session, and then a four o'clock with Finance." 

Donna noticed someone coming in but she was too engrossed in the conversation to pay much attention to the man. 

" .... If you leave your name, I can give Josh the message when he gets back? ... Thank you very much." 

It was then that Donna looked up from the message she had been writing down and faced the man standing in the doorway. She immediately saw that this guy was not to be toyed with. He had this cautious glare that told her that this wasn't going to be easy. She wasn't afraid though, she was a Moss and she defiantly stared back, while thinking ... 

`Hmmm, he has nice -no, actually- very nice brown eyes.' 

And then he spoke. 

"Hi." 

`Oh, and a very nice voice too. Interesting.' 

"Hi." 

"Who are you?" 

"I'm Donna Moss. Who are you?" 

"I'm Josh Lyman." 

`Oops, wrong question.' 

"Ah." 

"Yes." 

`Well, I'm already in deep ... couldn't hurt to go a little bit deeper.' 

"I'm your new assistant." 

"Did I have an old assistant?" 

`Damn ... need to come up with a very witty answer now.' 

"Maybe not." 

`Oh, way to go Donna ... very witty indeed!' 

"Who are you?" 

"I'm Donna Moss. I came here to volunteer and the woman assigned me to you." 

"Which woman?" 

`Damn, damn ... what was her name again. The one that stood in for the assistants. Oh, for the love of God ... Becky?' 

"Becky." 

"You mean Margaret?" 

`Damn again!' 

"Yes." 

"Who are you?" 

`Is this guy simple? Maybe I should talk slower?' 

"I'm Donna Moss. I'll be working as your assistant." 

"I'm going to talk to Margaret," he decidedly stated. 

Upon that, the man started turning around, ready to walk away and talk to Margaret. Donna realised that she was going to have to do or say something to stop him from talking to that Margaret-woman. Her mind was franticly searching for a way out of this mess. She saw that he was about to leave and did the only thing she could think of ... blocking his way by quickly jumping in front of him. Ignoring the surprise and annoyance she saw in his facial expression she started talking again. 

"Actually, Josh?" 

"Yeah?" 

"When I said I was assigned to you?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I may have been overstating it a little." 

"Who are you?" 

`Okay, definitely simple ... possibly deaf.' 

With that thought in her mind she noticed that Josh had started moving through the headquarters and that she was following him. Well, not really following him -they were just walking side by side- not missing one beat of their conversation, as if they had been doing this for years. It made her feel really weird for a moment ... it just -well- it felt oddly familiar. 

`How can it feel familiar? I have just met the guy!' 

Trying to keep up with him she quickly dismissed the thought and answered his question ... again. 

"I'm Donna Moss. I drove up here from Madison, Wisconsin--" 

"When did your boyfriend break up with you?" 

`WHAT? Simple, deaf and psychic? Well, nearly psychic ... let's not forget that I broke up with him and not the other way around. Okay, play it cool Donna. Don't let this guy get to you, you're better than that.' 

"What makes you think my boyfriend broke up with me?" 

`Yeah, that's it ... cool!' 

"Well, you're too old for your parents to have kicked you out of the house." 

`Old? I look too OLD? What? He couldn't have said I didn't look young enough? No, he had to use the word `old'. Fantastic ... I look old! Okay, he's looking at me really strangely now. I'd better answer his question. Oh yeah, and also better not mention I didn't even know that Bartlet existed until yesterday. Okay, stay cool Donna.' 

"I'm here because I want to work for Bartlet. I'm a college graduate, with a degree in political science and government ..." 

"Where did you graduate?" 

`Okay, totally losing sense of coolness here.' 

"Hmm?" 

"Where did you graduate?" 

`New strategy is urgently required.' 

"Okay, when I said I graduated?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I may have been overstating a little." 

"Look--" Josh started to reply. 

`The lying through your teeth-strategy. Never fails!' 

"I was a couple of credits short." 

"From where?" 

"The University of Wisconsin." 

"You majored in political science and government?" 

"And sociology and psychology." 

"Uh-huh." 

`Quite the eloquent guy ... this Josh Lyman.' 

"And biology for a while ... with a minor in French." 

"Okay ..." 

"And, uh ... drama." 

"You had five majors and two minors in four years?" 

"Two years." 

"Okay, listen ..." 

`Oh, I don't like that tone ... definitely don't like that tone. Speak Donna ... SPEAK NOW!' 

"I had to drop out. I had to drop out." 

`That was it? There goes the plan of oozing intelligence.' 

"Your boyfriend was older than you?" 

`How the hell does he know that? Well, I'm not answering that ... way too personal.' 

"I think that question's of a personal nature?" 

"Donna, you were just at my desk reading my calendar, answering my phone, and hoping that I wouldn't notice that I never hired you. Your boyfriend was older?" 

`Oh ... swell.' 

"Yes." 

"Law student?" 

"Medical student." 

"And the idea was you'd drop out and pay the bills until he was done with his residency." 

`Who is this guy? Make way ... make way ... for the magical mind-reading Joshua Lyman!' 

"Yes." 

"And why did Dr. Freeride break up with you?" 

`Dr. Freeride? Hmmm, ... good nickname for the lying bastard! Have to remember that one. I won't give in to this man that easily though.' 

"What makes you think he broke up with me?" 

`HA, take that!' 

After making a full tour through the headquarters and a few stops at some desks, they had ended up in his office again. When hearing her last remark he stared at her for a moment and then sat down in his chair. 

"Donna, this is a campaign for the Presidency, and there's nothing I take more seriously than that. This can't be a place where people come to find their confidence and start over." 

`Oh, but I need this job ... I NEED IT! Please, God ... don't let him kick me out.' 

"Why not?" 

"I'm sorry?" 

"Why can't it be those things?" 

"Because--" he trailed off. 

`AHAH! Got you there, didn't I? Oh and there's more where that came from ...' 

"What? Is it going to interfere with my typing?" 

"Donna, we're picking up today and going to South Carolina. If you want to stay in the Manchester office--" 

`Oh no, you're not getting rid of me that easily, mister!' 

"I want to come to Charleston." 

"I can't carry you, Donna! I've got a lot of guys out there not making the trip." 

"I'll pay my own way." 

"With what?" 

`Hmm, good question.' 

"I'll sleep on the floor, I'll sell my car." 

`Yeah ... right. Like anyone in his or her right mind would actually want to buy that heap of crap. But hey, he doesn't know that.' 

"Eventually, you're going to put me on salary." 

"Donna ..." 

He stood up again, ready to put an end to the conversation and Donna knew it was time to break out the heavy guns. She gave him the puppy eyes and the pouting mouth-routine. She had noticed that always worked on guys. 

"Look. I think I can be good at this. I think you might find me valuable." 

~~~ 

The woman was staring him straight in the eye now and he certainly had no intention of backing out. Hell, he was Joshua Lyman, he had brought some of the toughest and meanest Republicans to tears, he would certainly not give in to this blonde -who looked not all that bad- actually she looked gorgeous. She had a slightly down turned mouth that was really intriguing to look at, certainly when she was pouting like that. He suddenly realised what he was thinking about and tried to shake himself out of these deeply disturbing imageries. He had just met the woman and he was already thinking about her in ways that he wasn't supposed to. He took a moment to thank his lucky stars that Mandy wasn't around. For some reason he thought that she would definitely not appreciate the way he was staring at Donna. He started to muster all his courage to tell this lady -this Donna- to leave her bags in the car and to return to ... wherever the Hell she came from. 

But then, as if magic was involved the telephone once again started to ring. Donna broke eye contact and briefly studied the phone. After a second she looked back at him and he could almost read the one question in her eyes. Josh didn't know what to do. For a moment he felt like he had seen those eyes somewhere before, but that was just silly. How could he? And what was that thing she had said again? That last thing ... 

"I think you might find me valuable." 

Yes ... that's what she said. And strangely enough, somehow he believed that was exactly what she was going to become to him -valuable. It was at that moment that he realised he had already made his decision and then he briefly nodded in the direction of the phone. 

"Go ahead." 

The woman smiled and then picked up the phone. There was that voice again ... that strange, yet lovely sounding voice. So completely different from the voice he had almost fallen asleep to only 10 minutes ago. 

"Bartlet for America, Josh Lyman's office -uh, yes- I think I'm going to have someone from the press office get back to you if it relates to -yes- uh, yes--" 

The only coherent thought in Josh's mind at that moment was that he could really get used to hearing that voice on a daily base. And without putting too much thought in it he took off his ID tag and gave it to Donna. Upon that the blonde woman showed him a radiant smile that made him feel better than he had in a long time. 

" --Yes." 

He stood there listening to her for a few more seconds and then turned around to exit his office, leaving Donna -his new assistant- where she was. And though he didn't know why, one single word formed itself in his mind while crossing the headquarters, making sure not to bump into anyone. A word that held absolutely no meaning to him -but still- there was something about it ... something to do with the woman he had left behind in his office. But what, what could be her connection to him and that word? That single word. He softly breathed in and then whispered: 

"Lollipop" 


	4. Persuasion 4

 

**Persuasion, Part 4**

**by:** Ellen  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Fluff  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al  
**Summary:** Sequel to Ancient History  
**Spoiler:** pre-series  
**Written:** 7/4/03  


* * *

_"HO-HO-HO ... HO-HO-HO ... Come here, little girl ... I have a present for you ..."_

Donna forced herself to look up to the big bearded man standing in front of her. She saw him reaching in his brown bag in search for her present. Upon studying the man a little closer she saw that he looked like Santa Clause -but- it wasn't him. Then why did he want to give her a present? She started to get really worried about what the hell she was doing there and why everything around her looked so big. 

"Don't worry. You'll be fine--" 

Another voice spoke to her. It belonged to the person whose hand she was clinging to. The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it. She tried to move her head to look at the person that had spoken, but her attempts were futile. She couldn't move her head. It felt like it weighed over a ton. She just couldn't move. Still, the voice had managed to soothe her. She wasn't as afraid anymore as a few seconds ago. 

"AHAH, here it is! Here you go -my little girl- your special present." 

Now she saw the fake-Santa pulling something out of the bag. She was a bit startled when she saw what exactly he wanted to give her. It was a huge red lollipop. 

"Strawberry-flavoured, just as you like it, little girl!" 

Fake-Santa pushed the lollipop in her face and was getting bigger and bigger and bigger and ... 

~ 

"NOOOOOOO!" 

Donna woke up all sweaty and flustered. For a moment she didn't know where she was and she found it hard to orientate. Her heavy breathing started to slow down when she realised where she was. Slowly she brought up her hands to her face and firmly rubbed it in order to feel awake again. Then she hoisted her body upright and breathlessly sat on her couch for a few moments. 

"Oh man, what a dream!" 

She licked her lips, they felt like parchment and she realised she could use a drink. Her mouth was so dry. She looked at the coffee table and saw the empty glass standing next to the bottle of Baileys. The bottle she had attempted to empty in a sudden burst of wallowing in self-pity. Now it was just standing there, half empty, untouched. 

"No way I'm ever drinking that again. Djeezes, what a horrible ... horrible dream." 

She briefly wondered what could have brought it on. They always say that dreams are the brain's way of dealing with reality. Things that have really happened get distorted in some crazy dream world in order to make sense of them. Of course -that is exactly the thing that doesn't make sense at all- since she had absolutely no idea what the dream was about. How could she ever possibly understand it then? 

"Oh -well- it was just a stupid dream." 

Upon that she slowly stood up from the couch. The sudden ache in her head made her remember why she had been drinking so much in the first place. 

`It was that damn song ... that stupid, stupid song.' 

"I have to stop thinking about it," she declared to the empty room. 

It was her way of convincing herself that it was nothing. It was just one simple song and she had let herself get carried away by it. All this time she had been in perfect denial and it worked ... it worked like a charm. If she didn't think about it too much -well- then she didn't hurt. But last night she had let her guard down for a brief moment ... just a few minutes really. And then, just then, there it was -that song. It was there, on the new CD she had bought. She had never heard it before ... she didn't even know the band who sung it. And that really didn't matter, it wasn't really the music or the instruments -no- it was the words. The lyrics had taken her aback for a moment ... the words just sounded so familiar. And before she knew it she was a goner. She had turned up the volume and she had listened again ... and again ... and again. Not soon after that she had fallen deeper and deeper into despair. It wasn't the briefly loosing of her own denial that stung, but the knowing ... the knowing that it could never be, that she could never tell him and have him. Not tomorrow and not the day after tomorrow ... never. It wouldn't be appropriate -and besides- he just didn't see her in that way, he didn't lo- 

She shook her head. She didn't want to go back there. Too much time had been wasted thinking about the situation. The kitchen was completely darkened when she walked in, she grabbed the first glass she could find and filled it with cold water. It was eagerly brought to her dry lips and she started drinking. While swallowing the cool water she could feel her dry mouth coming to life again. Slowly, she licked her lips in order to make them moist again. 

It was always the same. She always ended up with a dry mouth and terrible hangover whenever she allowed herself to think about it ... 'the situation'. That's what she called it ... 'the situation'. She couldn't bring herself to say his name, that would make all of it too tangible, too real. So, she settled on `it' or `the situation'. She looked up from where she was standing and found herself staring at reflection in the kitchen-mirror. 

`Look at yourself. You are no one. You have no degrees whatsoever. You are just a lonely whiner. No wonder he -'it'- whatever ... doesn't want you.' 

She kept staring at herself and made a futile attempt to flatten her hair that was standing on end. And suddenly it just happened ... it had been building up inside her for quite some time, but she had always struggled to keep control and it had always worked. Not this time however. It was in the middle of the night and she couldn't take it anymore ... she couldn't cope anymore and it just happened. She felt like there was a force within her that exploded. She saw herself slowly raising her hand and clenching it into a fist and then she slammed it against the mirror with all the force she had within her. She felt it break under her knuckles and it hurt, but she didn't care. She just screamed out ... 

"Oh, shut up Donna! Just shut up! You're pathetic! You know that? Just pathetic! Pining away over some man -someone unattainable. So, stop it, stop wallowing. You promised you wouldn't let it happen again. You wouldn't let yourself get hurt again -not by anyone, not by him--" 

She slowly sunk to the floor and started sobbing. She knew exactly what she had to look like. A small, pathetic copy of the strong woman she once was. The blood from her wounded hand slowly trickled on the ground, but she didn't care -because he didn't care, he would never care- not the way she wanted him to care. 

After a while her hand started to sting. She studied it for a moment and realised she needed to take care of it, otherwise it could start to infect. She got up and held her hand under the cold water tap. 

A few minutes later she had put a bandage round her hand, she had cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and she found herself on the couch again. 

`Way to go, Donna. Way to go--' 

She felt a bit silly and embarrassed that she had let it come to this. She knew that she never earned any degrees, but that didn't mean she wasn't smart. 

`I'm smart. I mean ... look at how I was the only one to find out there was something about the whole Stackhouse filibuster-situation that didn't add up. I even got to tell the President. And all the amount of work I get done in one work day is quite amazing really. Let's not even mention the way I make sure he ... his office is organised. Maybe I don't have a degree, however ... that doesn't mean I don't deserve one.' 

She could almost imagine standing on a large podium receiving a diploma. The President would stand in the middle and he would make a speech. He would tell everyone there how valuable- 

`Valuable ... that's the word I used ... valuable.' 

-yes ... how valuable she was. He would say that she was one of the best senior assistant ever. And her family and friends would all stand up and cheer and applaud for her when he handed her the diploma. 

`So ... why wouldn't some intelligent man not notice me and fall for me -sure- it wouldn't be him, but it doesn't have to be him ... does it? It would solve everything ... if some guy would fall for me and stay with me, then I wouldn't be this lonely and I wouldn't have to think about -him- anymore. It would be the perfect solution.' 

"I'll go! I'll just go! I'll go to her -yes- I'll go to Ainsley's office tomorrow. I'll tell her that I have changed my mind and that I would love to go out on a blind date with her friend." 

She had yelled out her statement to the empty room because somehow ... just thinking about it already made her feel better. A lot better than she had felt for a very long time. 

`I just hope he's a nice guy. Well, Ainsley has good taste -after all- she does like Sam. So, maybe this man she wants to set me up with is a really great guy. Maybe we're made for each other. He won't be Jo-- no, not going there ... not thinking about him.' 

With her last thought she had set her mind at ease and had allowed herself to hope again. Hope that this friend from Ainsley -this Cliff Calley- would be what she was looking for. Since she couldn't have the real thing ... she just had to settle for the second best. 

She was determined to get through this and it would have to begin with facing the truth. So, she slowly stood up and moved over to where the CD-player was standing. The CD was still in there and the display was still showing the number from that song -number 7. She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and pushed `play'. 

"Time to face the music." 

And then the melody took over and once again it filled her senses. But this time it just made her smile woefully. But she still listened to the words. She would always listen to the words ... 

_Please tell me_  
why do birds  
sing when you're near me  
sing when you're close to me

they say that  
I'm a fool  
for loving you deeply  
loving you secretly

But I crash in my mind  
whenever you are near  
getting deaf, dumb and blind  
just drowning in despair  
I am lost in your flame  
it's burning like a sun  
and I call out your name  
the moment you are gone

Please tell me  
why can't I  
breathe when you're near me  
breathe when you're close to me

I know, you know I'm lost  
in loving you deeply  
loving you secretly

But I crash in my mind  
whenever you are near  
getting deaf, dumb and blind  
just drowning in despair  
I am lost in your flame  
it's burning like a sun  
and I call out your name  
the moment you are gone

Tomorrow  
I'll say it all tomorrow  
or the day after tomorrow  
I'm sure I'll tell you then


	5. Persuasion 5

 

**Persuasion, Part 5**

**by:** Ellen  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Fluff  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al  
**Summary:** Sequel to Ancient History  
**Spoiler:** pre-series  
**Written:** 7/19/03  


* * *

"Well, well ... you finally made it. You know, you always said that you'd be working here one day, but somehow I didn't -oh, Hell- who am I kidding? I did know you'd make it in here one way or the other. After all, you've done it before." 

The moment he recognised the voice, Josh immediately looked up from the report he had been studying. A big grin appeared on his face. 

"Steven ... my man!" 

He stood up and walked up to the man that was casually leaning against his doorpost. He stretched out his arms as soon as he stood face to face with him. The tall, blond man slowly moved and responded by mimicking Josh's movements. Their actions were followed by a brief, but genuine hug. A hug between friends that hadn't seen each other for the longest of times. 

"Come ... come ... sit down." 

"Okay, don't mind if I do. I have just been on the flight from Hell. I need to relax!" 

"You want a beer?" 

"Yeah, thanks." 

Josh opened his fridge and took out two beers, one for Steven and one for himself. 

"Sure you want to do that?" Steven remarked. 

"What?" 

"The beer? You know ... with the sensitive system and all--" 

"Oh please, not you too." 

Josh immediately thought of Donna. If she wouldn't have been in Leo's office to get the reports on the -the thing, she would have had a blast. It then occurred to him that she and Steven would like each other. They have the same sense of humour, they both come up with stupid jokes addressed to -well- him. They probably would have bounded on the spot. The mental image of his best friend and his ... Donna huddling together to create more Josh-jokes made him smile. 

"What? It's true. I distinctively remember Tony McMullen's party in our last year of high school. That was quite something" 

"I wasn't that drunk." 

He handed Steven the refreshment who closed his eyes and took a big gulp of the cool beverage. He paused a moment to enjoy the feeling of the cool liquid in his mouth and then swallowed. 

"Uhmmm, tasty." 

He slowly opened his eyes and picked up on their conversation again. 

"Oh, correction, you were very drunk Josh. You had two beers and as I recall you decided that the price roses in the greenhouse from Tony's father needed watering. And I'm not talking about fresh rainwater here." 

The blonde man started to chuckle when Josh made absolutely no attempt to contradict the story. 

"Yeah, whatever." 

For a while both men just sat across from each other and engaged in small talk. Enjoying each others company and jokes. And then -out of the blue- Steven turned serious. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there man. I saw it on TV and then they said your name and they said that you had been ... that you had been--" 

Josh just shrugged his shoulders, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the sudden change of direction the conversation was taking. 

"Yeah, I know -Steven, it's okay- I understand. You were in Europe and you had Laura and the kids to think off." 

~~~ 

"Yeah, but that's not enough of an excuse Josh. The truth is ... I didn't want to come. Please, don't say anything -just let me explain--" 

He looked across the desk to where his best friend was sitting. He looked so healthy ... so alive. How could he possibly tell Josh that he hadn't come because he was afraid ... afraid of breaking down. He knew that as long as it was just another news-item on TV it wouldn't become too personal, but as soon as he would come over and see his best friend lying in a hospital bed -maybe even dying- it was just something he couldn't do. So he had stayed in England ... hoping, wishing, praying, crying and even pleading with God to not let him die. 

"Steven?" 

Josh's voice shook him out of his reverie. He took a deep breath and started talking again. 

"You see Josh ... you ... you are my best friend. I know, I know ... it's not like we've seen each other that much over the last couple of years, but -when I heard I just- it just seemed that there were two things I could do. I could come over ... find you half dead and get a mental breakdown or ... I could stay in England and be strong for you. I could pray and hope so that you would make it. So, I stayed and -well- it worked, didn't it? You survived, you kept on breathing and here you are sitting opposite of me. You're okay again -oh man- I was so scared ... so scared ... that I ... that you--" 

~~~ 

Josh noticed that Steven's words had started to falter and that he looked like he was about to cry. He loved his friend and there was no way that he was going to allow him to feel guilty for something that happened over two years ago. 

"Hey, Steven, it's okay man. I know you ... I know that you would have come if you had felt up to it. But, don't worry, I was perfectly fine. I was taken care of by friends and family." 

"Yeah, I know--" 

Josh raised his eyebrows in surprise upon this admission. 

"I called your mother a few times to ask how you were. She said you were doing all right, all things considered and that she and some woman -I think your assistant- what's her name again?" 

"Donna." 

"Yeah, Donna ... your mother said that they were both taking care of you. They would sit by your bed in turns and only leave to get a few hours of sleep." 

"Yes, Donna ... she took really good care of me--" 

For just a moment Josh allowed his thoughts to drift away from the current conversation. What he mostly remembered from his recovery and his days spent at the hospital and later at home was not the pain, the hurt or even the humiliation of always needing help -no- none of those things. What he remembered mostly was Donna sitting by his bed, reading to him, helping him getting dressed and undressed. And for the millionth time he wondered why the hell she had stayed there. She was just his assistant, okay, maybe she was more -a good friend- but even his mother hadn't spent as much time with him as Donna. She was always there, night and day. And briefly ... just once in a while he wondered ... 

"Earth to Josh!" 

Suddenly he remembered that he had been in the middle of a sentence when he had stopped talking. So, he quickly continued. 

" --and my mom too of course." 

It was too late though. Steven had seen his friends eyes clouding over when he had said his assistant's name. He had obviously sensed that there was something interesting to find out. And being his best friend and all ... Josh knew that he was going to dig for information to make him feel as uncomfortable as humanly possible. 

"Mmmm, do I sense romance here?" 

"Romance? What do you mean?" 

"Oh come on Josh ... when you mentioned Donna's name a few seconds ago you got `the goofy grin' on your face. And I've seen `the goofy grin' before ... remember Tracy Sears? You used to make googly eyes at her all of the time and you kept talking about her to the extend that you made me feel physically sick each time you mentioned her name. That was love, my man." 

Josh snickered. 

"No, my friend ... that's where you are wrong. That wasn't love, that was -I don't know what it was- a crush, I suppose. No ... you want to know about love? Love was the girl with the red hair and sparkling green eyes who used to come to the `Moonbeam' every Saturday. A girl named Laura ... the girl that stole your heart. I still remember the way you two acted around each other. It was like there was no one else there ... just the two of you." 

"Yeah, she's quite something ... my Laura." 

The blond man had whispered the last two words as he was talking about the most beautiful, delicate thing in the world. 

"Did you know I was actually jealous at you?" 

"What!" 

"No, no ... not because of Laura, although she was quite the catch." 

The last remark made Steven glare into Josh's direction. 

"No ... it was because you two were so deliriously happy. I wanted that ... but I never got it." 

"Well, that's just really sad. You know that? To never have known love is to -well- to never have really been alive. That's what Laura makes me feel like ... every day she makes me feel glad to be alive. She is my love and life ... she and the children. They are the most amazing children ever born." 

Now Steven was absolutely glowing with pride for his two sons. It made Josh even more aware of his loneliness and what he was missing in his life. 

"But don't be so gloomy--," Steven continued. 

"--the last time I read one of your mails you were dating some woman named ... Amy?" 

The mentioning of Amy's name made Josh internally cringe. 

"Whatever happened to her? Still dating the lady?" 

"GOD NO! She turned out to be not so trustworthy and -well- for lack of a better word ... a shrew." 

"Hmmm ... too bad. And there's no one else?" 

"No ... not really." 

"What do you mean ... not really? Either there is someone else or there isn't." 

"Well, it's complicated--" 

"I knew it ... this is about the assistant isn't it? Donna." 

"No, no ... me and Donna, we are friends ... good friends. I mean, she was there the whole time I was recovering and today -still- I have absolutely no clue whatsoever what on earth possessed her to spend all her time taking care of me." 

Josh suddenly realised that this was the first time he had ever voiced his feelings on this matter. It felt good to finally open up and to be able to talk to someone about it. 

"But, there are times when I wish that--" 

He slowly brought up his hands and rubbed his face while Steven was waiting for him to continue his last sentence. He never did though. 

"We have fun together and talk a lot, but that's only because -well- we just connect ... you know?" 

~~~ 

Steven just gave him a weary smile. He knew love when he saw it and this was the face of a man deeply in love -but- unfortunately also deep in denial. He started to wonder what sort of woman could have such an impact on the selfish, passionate political machine called Josh Lyman. 

He didn't have to wonder for long. Just at that moment Donna stepped into the office. 

~~~ 

"Josh, Leo asked me to bring you these reports. They're on--" 

It was only then that she noticed the tall blond man sitting in her boss's office. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. I'll come back later." 

At that she turned around to leave again but Josh's voice stopped her. 

"Donna ... wait ... I want you to meet someone." 

She halted and turned to face the man sitting in the visitor chair. 

"Steven, this is Donna Moss ... my obedient assistant and person Friday who flat-out refuses to bring me coffee." 

Donna snorted in fake consternation and Josh couldn't help but smile when looking at her face. 

"Donna, this is Steven Brooks. He was my best friend in high school and right now he is one of the most respected actors in the West End in London." 

"Oh sure, insult me, but make him out to be the greatest man alive." 

Steven immediately replied when he heard Donna's comment. 

"I can tell you have your hands full with this one." 

Josh gave his friend an amused smile. 

"You have no idea." 

"Actually ... I was talking to Donna." 

Donna flashed Steven a grateful smile. She could already tell that she was going to like this man. He was smart and witty and was very good at making jokes at Josh's expense. This was her kind of man. 

"Well, Josh ... now you hear it from someone else for a change." 

"Yeah, whatever. Donna, just leave the reports here and go do whatever it is you do around here." 

"Fine ... but remember that I'm out of here at 3 o'clock." 

"Huh?" 

"Josh, don't tell me you don't remember. Two days ago I asked you if it would be okay to leave early on Friday, which is today, and you said `yes'." 

"Well, I'm sure I did ... but you can't go home early today." 

"What! Why not" 

"Because Toby asked me to take the Miller and Jensen meeting with him at 8 o'clock tonight. If we want to lure these guys in to give their support to the new finance-bill we need everyone available to make it happen. That's why I need you here. We need to go over every report written on the bill ... that way we'll be prepared tonight." 

Donna sighed in resignation. 

"Fine, I'll just stay here and have no social life whatsoever ... ever again." 

~~~ 

Her last remark had captured Josh's attention. He wondered why she was talking about her social life and then it hit him. A date, she had to have a date, why else would she be so upset? He coughed to stall some time and then popped the next question. 

"Did you have special plans tonight?" 

"Seriously Josh, do you ever listen to anything I tell you?" 

"Well--" 

"I told you two days ago that Jack is back in the country for three weeks and that he called me to ask me out." 

Steven seemed to be quite amused when he heard his friend reply in a really weird high and squeaky voice. 

"Tonight? You're going on a date with Jack Reese tonight?" 

"No Josh, tomorrow, I'm going out with him tomorrow" 

"Then why would you have to leave early today?" 

"Because of my mother." 

Donna stared at her boss's puzzled face. 

"My mother ... remember? The e-mail she sent me a couple of weeks ago telling me that I had to come and collect all my stuff from my old room. Does any of this ring a bell? You know, she's going to make my room into a study for dad and that same weekend I went over to Madison to collect everything. I haven't had any time to unpack yet, so these boxes -these really big, annoying boxes- are just standing there in my apartment and they are driving me nuts. I was going to unpack today so that I could have a quiet day tomorrow to prepare for the date." 

"Ah--" 

"Yes." 

Josh couldn't help but feel guilty. He remembered now ... he had promised her she could go home and now he had broken that promise. He felt lousy and tried to think of a way to make it up to her. And then it came to him. 

"Well, I tell you what--" 

"What?" 

"You stay here with me tonight to work on the finance-bill and I promise that I'll come over to your place tomorrow to help you unpack. That way it will go faster and you will have plenty of time to get ready for J-J-Jack." 

He always had trouble pronouncing the names of her dates. He briefly wondered why? 

~~~ 

Donna just stared at him with big, surprised eyes. She needed a few seconds before she was physically able to use her vocal chords again. 

"Well, that's unexpected. Who are you and what have you done with my cranky boss?" 

Although she was making a joke about his offer ... she was really surprised and touched. He could be really sweet sometimes -when you least expect it- this kind, caring and gentle side of him pops up and sweeps you of your feet. Donna knew she shouldn't be thinking these things about her boss and most of the time she succeeded in keeping her romantic feelings for him deeply buried. After all, she had promised herself never to think about him in that way anymore. And after the Cliff Calley mess she managed to do just that for the longest of times. Josh had treated her differently for a while and then he had met Amy and things had progressed between them. Back then she had decided to just resign to the fact that Amy was going to become the most important woman in his life and that she was going to have to take a step back. And it worked ... she managed to forget about her feelings for him, but then it ended between him and Amy and the talk and the banter came back and once again she found herself thinking about him in those rare moments when she just couldn't help it anymore. Moments when she wished that he wasn't her boss, but 'just Josh' and that she wasn't his assistant ... 'just Donna'. And then she thought of all the things 'just Josh' and 'just Donna' could do and it made her physically ache ... knowing that it would never happen. 

"Donna? Is that okay?" 

She quickly dismissed her last thoughts and focused again. 

"Yes, that's fine. Just come by around 2 o'clock. There are a lot of boxes we need to go through." 

"I'll be there." 

She finally put the reports on his desk and left the office. 

~~~ 

Josh turned to look at Steven and was met by his friend's smirk. 

"Well, no feelings whatsoever for her ... huh?" 

"Steven ... don't start." 

Steven just replied by using the same words Josh had uttered a short while ago. 

"Yeah, whatever." 

That earned him a sad smile from his smart but -oh so- clueless friend. 

"Listen, I have to go ... I have an appointment with a producer of a Broadway-show within an hour and a half. He is currently staying in Washington and he could have an interesting offer for me." 

"Okay, listen, how long are you staying in DC?" 

"Oh, I don't know ... a week probably. After that I have to go to New York ... Broadway is awaiting!" 

"Fine, if you feel the need to escape the clouds for a while and when you feel ready to put your feet back on the ground ... just give me a call and we'll have lunch or we can go for a beer. Okay?" 

"Why Josh ... were you being sarcastic just now?" 

"Me? Never! So, what do you say? We'll go for a beer sometime?" 

"Yeah, sure." 

Steven drank the last of his beer and stood up. 

"Bye Josh." 

"Bye." 

Just before he exited the office Steven stopped and turned around. 

"Josh--" 

"Yeah?" 

"Sometimes, when you want something really bad but you think you can't have it? Sometimes ... you just need to take a leap of faith. That's what you did all those years ago when we visited the White House in high school, remember. You decided you were tired of waiting and hanging around. So you took a leap of faith ... you snuck out to discover the people behind the White House. And remember where that leap of fait took you ... it took you right into the Oval Office to meet the President." 

"Yeah, and as I recall it took you right to your first real acting role ever. So, in a way, my leap of faith was the beginning of your future Broadway-career. So, you'd better thank me for that." 

He added the last sentence with a smirk. 

"Yeah, I do owe you ... I guess. I'm not going to thank you though. Your ego couldn't handle it." 

A comfortable silence fell between them and both men just smiled at each other. 

"Just remember Josh, a leap of faith, that's all it takes ... one leap of faith." 

At that Steven left his office and Josh was alone with his thoughts again. 

It's weird how you can forget about some things in life. Things that seemed really important at the time but become kind of out-dated after a while. Mainly because you get to do new things, things that are even more exciting and life-altering. He hadn't thought about his little White House escapade for ... years. It's funny though, but, the thing he remembered most vividly from that adventure wasn't meeting the President or his senior staff -no- it was a little sticky hand that belonged to a little girl ... a girl whose face and name he couldn't remember. But he would always remember her sticky little hand clinging on to his. 

While thinking about her little hand a tender smile appeared on his face. 

"A leap of faith ... just one leap of faith. Is that really all it takes?" 

The question echoed through the silent room. The answer never came. 


	6. Persuasion 6

 

**Persuasion, Part 6**

**by:** Ellen  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Fluff  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al  
**Summary:** Sequel to Ancient History  
**Spoiler:** pre-series  
**Written:** 7/26/03  


* * *

"Okay, what the hell am I going to wear? I need to look beautiful and sexy ... but not too sexy. I don't want him to get the wrong idea ... although, he is kind of cute and sweet and--" 

`He made you lie for him, Donna. Don't ever forget that!'

A snarky, little voice that suspiciously sounded like Josh popped up in her head.

"Oh, shut up!"

She shouted to her reflection, wearing an elegant black dress with two golden straps. Sometimes, it really annoyed her that Josh had such an influence ... even in her thoughts and dreams.

It was in the early afternoon and she was in her bedroom trying on some dresses for her date with Jack. It turned out to be a difficult decision. She wanted to look stunning ... this guy had to realise exactly what he had lost and at the same time it would make her feel admired again. It had been a very long time since a guy had looked at her ... really looked at her and she missed that. Little did she know that for the longest of times Josh's eyes had lingered upon her in sheer admiration .

So yes, she wanted to look sexy, but on the other hand she didn't want to give him any hope. The way they had parted -well- it had been very sudden, he had just been transferred to Italy and that had been it. She had heard from him once in a while, but no promises had been made. So, she was kind of curious why, all of a sudden, he wanted to see her again.

She checked the clock on the wall and noticed that it was almost two o'clock. Josh would be arriving soon to help her unpack the boxes. She started to undress and put on a comfortable big sweater and some jeans. She and Josh were going to be up to their necks in boxes and dust, but she didn't mind. She always loved the time she could spend with him ... even if it was working-time. Her mind wandered off to the day before. I had been so odd that Josh had volunteered to come over and help her. Normally he didn't care if a date had to be cancelled because she had to work. She even had the sneaky suspicion that he liked it when one of her dates was `sabotaged'. But now -nothing- he really wanted her to be able to go on the date. She knew that this was something that should make her happy -after all- he had no business meddling in her private life, but another part of her was saddened by the fact of his lack of interest on her going out with other men.

`And yet again I am on the subject of Joshua Lyman. Man, I so need to let go of this. I need to let go of the image of Josh ... the very sexy, good-looking image of Josh ...'

"Mustn't think of him in that way. He's just my boss. Mustn't think of him in that way. He's just my boss. Mustn't think of him in that way--"

She kept repeating the same words over and over again as some kind of a mantra. After a few minutes she actually started to believe her own words and she already felt better. She had made the decision to not crave after Josh anymore and she wanted to stick with it. It wasn't healthy ... life went on and tonight a handsome and caring man would come over to take her out.

`Yes, that's who I'm going to be from now on ... I'm going to be a strong and independent woman who will maintain a normal friendly working-relationship with her boss.'

And upon that she dismissed every improper thought of Josh to the back of her mind and conjured up images of Josh in The White House ... Josh as her boss.

The clock struck two and as if magic was involved the doorbell rang.

"Well, well ... he's on time. That's a first."

Donna stepped into the hall, closed her eyes, repeated her mantra one more time and opened the door to let him in. And that was it ... all it took was opening the door to crush her former resolutions. Her mind was flooded with images of Josh -not so much images of `boss-Josh'- but images of very `not boss-Josh'. He was standing in the corridor and was wearing casual clothes, a dark blue jeans and a blue navy sweater and, to her, he looked absolutely edible.

`Ooooooooh!'

She noticed that Josh was gazing at her intently as if he had something he wanted to say, but the look passed after a few moments. And suddenly, she realised that she was just standing there, holding open the door, but not inviting him in.

"Hey. Are you going to let me in or--"

"Oh, yes ... of course ... come in."

"Thanks."

Upon her invitation he entered and went straight through the next door into the living room. The moment he had disappeared from the hallway, Donna gently banged her head against the now closed door.

`Stupid ... stupid Donna! And damn you, Josh Lyman! Damn you for making me feel like ... like ... like ... oh ... why not just say it? It won't go away anyway. Damn you for making me feel like a woman desperately in love with her boss.'

She steadied herself again and prepared to go into the living room. She knew that she could hide her feelings well -after all- she had been doing it for a really long time. She started to move and just before she entered the next room she silently uttered one sentence.

"This is so cliché ..."

~~~

Josh was standing in the middle of the living room. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He had rung her doorbell with only one intention. He was going to tell her exactly how he felt about her. Oh, yes ... yes ... he had told Steven that he had no feelings whatsoever for Donna, but he was pretty sure his friend had seen right through it. Why else would he have told him to take a leap of faith. And that was why he was here ... to take a leap of faith. And he had been ready. He had driven up to her place with all the confidence in the world -after all- how can he know how she feels if he doesn't ask her. But all his resolutions had crumbled the moment she had opened the door. She had looked so adorable and all he could do was gaze at her and ask her if he could come in. He had missed it ... his window of opportunity. He knew that from now on it would only become more difficult to confess his feelings, but ... he was going to try. He had to ...

`Because let's face it ... I am a man desperately in love with his assistant.'

Without turning around he knew that Donna had entered the room.

`Okay, say it Lyman. Just say it ...'

"My God, Donna ... what the hell have you been hiding in your room for all those years. Did you have enough room in there to actually -you know- move around? How big was it anyway?"

`Great, exactly what I NEEDED TO SAY!'

"Hey, don't mock my stuff ... Mister-I-have-nothing-but-junk-in-my-apartment."

"Junk, I don't have junk in my apartment!"

"Oh no ... what's with the ball then?"

"The ball ... what are you ta-- oh ..."

"Yes."

"Well, it's of emotional value. I've had it since I was in college and it is important to me."

"Hmmmm, I see ... it is of such great value that you didn't even know what I was talking about until you put some thought to it."

"Well ... yeah."

"In other words ... you haven't had the time to throw it out yet!"

"Well, no -I mean- yeah ... something like that."

"That's what I thought."

"Instead of nagging about my stuff, we might -you know- actually get to work."

"Fine."

"Fine. What do I do first?"

"Okay, well ... you can start with the big box that is on top. It contains old toys of mine. Just go through it an see what is still good to use. The other stuff you can throw in this bag."

Donna disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a big, black plastic bag.

"Here you go."

"Where do I put the good stuff?"

"Well, just put that next to the couch and I'll sort it out later."

"Okay ... so, what are you going to do?"

"Well, I'm going to go through the box with old school material first."

"School material ... huh. What? Did little Donna Moss have a lot of bad tests or something like that? Is that why I get to do the toys when you get to do the good box?"

"Josh."

"Yes?"

"Shut up and start working."

"Okay."

And with that they both opened their box and started going through the contents. For a few hours they sat comfortably side by side, slowly emptying the boxes and discovering various artefacts that gave some more information on the history of Donnatella Moss. The more Josh discovered about her childhood the more he felt compelled to tell her exactly how much he loved her. He just wanted to confess and get it over with, but it never seemed like the right time. So, he said nothing and silently worked his way through the boxes, until ...

"Hey, there's no more boxes."

"Well, aren't you a regular Sherlock Holmes. Have you discovered this all by yourself?"

"Hey, I was just making an observation."

"Yes, actually ... there is one more box and since it's almost 5 and I have a date at 6 o'clock I need to get ready for -you ... and no one else- will receive the great honour of emptying the last box."

"Pffff, what an honour it is ... indeed."

"Josh, need I remind you of the fact that you yourself volunteered to come and help so that I could get ready for my date with Jack?"

"No ... no ... you go get ready and I'll go through the box for you."

"Good."

Donna stood up from the floor and went into her bedroom. A few seconds later she came back out with a small, but clearly heavy box. Upon seeing her struggling with the weight of it, Josh jumped up and took it from her. He carefully put it down on the ground.

"What's in this one anyway? Halters? Have you secretly been working out Donna?"

"Yes, Josh ... I want to become one of those muscled ladies that look like men."

"Well, it was just a thought--"

"Books. The box contains books."

"Books? Are you telling me that this box has books in it ... books you read when you were a kid?"

"Yes."

A devious smirk appeared on his face.

"Oh, goody ... I can't wait to go through your girly books."

"Girly books ... these aren't girly books Josh. These are all good books. I'm going into the bathroom to get ready and you go through the books. Just put them on the top shelve of the bookcase in the corner. I emptied it just for these books. And I dare you ... if you find even one girly book you can tell me. I promise ... you won't find any."

"You got a deal."

"Good."

Josh followed Donna with his eyes when she stepped into her bedroom. The moment she had entered he let out a heavy sigh. He had lost it ... the window of opportunity was completely gone. Soon Jack would arrive and again he would have to watch her leave with some ... gomer. Residing in the fact that there was nothing he could do anymore he sunk down on the floor and opened the last box.

He took out book after book and marvelled in the fact that she had had a really good taste as a kid. These were all excellent books. He had read most of them himself. He kept removing book after book and then, very sudden, the corners of his mouth started to twist and turned upwards into a genuine, smug grin.

`No girly books huh?'

"Oh, DO-NNA!"

Two seconds later an angry, wet blonde head popped out of the bedroom.

"Josh, I was in the bathroom and have just taken a very relaxing shower ... so this better be good! What?!"

Josh slowly started waving the book he had only found a minute ago in front of him so she could have a clear vision on it. Suddenly her eyes grew wide and she came from behind the door, reaching for the book and momentarily forgetting that she was only wearing a towel to hide her naked body.

Completely deprived of oxygen, Josh dropped the book and it landed on the floor with a thud.

"Donna ... you're ... not ... wearing ... any ... clothes."

It took all of his strength to utter these words, but Donna hadn't heard them. She had already bent down and picked up the book. She slowly stood up again and held it in front of her. Gently she placed her hand on it as if she was caressing it. Josh watched her with growing fascination.

`What I wouldn't give to be that book right now.'

He wisely decided not to say that out loud. Instead he asked a question.

"So, why is this book so special?"

"Huh."

As if she was only just noticing him Donna turned her attention to Josh and he repeated his question.

"Why is the girly book so important?"

"Why are you so certain it's important to me?"

"Well, the fact that you jumped out of your room -barely dressed- gave me some indication."

At that moment she looked down and became acutely aware of what she was -well- not wearing and she bolted back behind her bedroom door.

Josh chuckled but was also a little disappointed. He wouldn't have minded to see some more of practically naked Donna.

"So?"

"What ... So?"

"The book!"

"Oh, well ... it was my all-time favourite book when growing up. It's so beautiful. So sad ... but hopeful."

"And very girly."

"No, Josh ... this does not qualify as a girly book."

"Yes, it does."

"No ... and I'll prove it."

"How?"

"I'll give it to you--"

"To do what?"

"To take it home with you."

"I repeat my question ... To do what?"

"To read."

"Oh no ... I'm not reading a girly book."

"Josh ... it is not a girly book and the only way I can prove this is if you read it ... so you will read it."

"Donna ..."

"Josh."

Josh recognised the determined tone of her voice and knew that there was no arguing with her now ... so reluctantly he gave in.

"Fine. I'll read it ... I'll read the girly book."

"Great."

He stood up, walked over to the door and held out his hand.

"Give it here."

She put the book in his hand, gave him a sparkling smile and closed the door.

"Stunning."

Still looking at the closed door Josh just whispered this one word to the empty room.

~~~

`My God ... I am so nervous.'

Jack Reese was standing in front of Donna's apartment door but was afraid to ring the bell. It had been so long since he had seen her for the last time and was afraid of how she might react towards him and he really wanted her to react in good way ... because otherwise all his plans for tonight would be useless. He conjured up all of his strength and finally found the guts to put his finger to the doorbell.

`Okay, Jack ... be cool. You can do it. Just ... be yourself. Because this woman is worth it and you know it.'

He was intently staring at his feet when he heard the door opening. Without looking up he just said four words.

"I've missed you."

And then a voice he knew all too well replied.

"Well, Jack ... I must say I'm flattered, but I really don't know you all that well and then for you to tell me that you've missed me ... that's heavy stuff."

"JOSH!"

"Jack."

"I'm sorry. I thought you were ... what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I was just helping Donna with something. Uhm, come in ... Donna is getting ready ... she won't be long."

`I should have known he would be here.'

Now the men were standing in Donna's living room, both feeling very uncomfortable. Josh was the first one to break the silence.

"So ... Jack ... Jacky ... Jackeroo ..."

"Josh."

"Yeah ... I know."

"So, what did you help her with?"

"Huh."

"Donna ... you said you helped her with something."

"Oh yeah, she had some boxes to unpack and I helped her."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, how about them `Mets' huh."

"Yeah, yeah those `Mets' ... right. Uhm, won't you sit down?"

"Don't mind if I do. So, Donna is almost ready then?"

Jack moved over to the couch and sat down. Josh made absolutely no attempt to go and sit with him. He just stayed where he was, standing in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, she's been in there for a while now, but you know ... women and their clothes and make-up. You know how it goes."

"Yeah ... I do."

"So ... Why are you here?"

"Oh, well ... the `Office Of Foreign Affairs' has summoned me here for a special assignment and--"

"No, Jack ... Why are you HERE here?"

"Oh, you mean 'here' at Donna's."

"Yes."

Jack briefly considered lying but it wouldn't solve anything. Lyman was not stupid ... and he would find out about it anyway. Donna had the annoying habit of telling her boss everything.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I have been absolutely miserable in Italy. I mean, I thought I could get over Donna, but there's just no getting over her."

The other man snorted and Jack heard him mutter something under his breath.

"You telling me."

Jack really hoped he had misunderstood because if that was what Josh had said ... then the consequences ... He shook his head to dismiss the thought and continued his story.

"Well, I missed her so much that I've decided I can't live without her anymore. So ... that's why I'm going to ask."

He saw Josh staring at him with wide open eyes. The man said nothing and nervously ran his hands through his hair, trying to make sense of his answer. And then ... in a small and almost frightened voice he asked `the' question.

"A-A-Ask her what?"

Jack showed Josh a brief smile and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a red jewellery box and opened it. Inside was a small golden ring. He stared at the ring for a moment and then turned the box to show Josh exactly what it contained. He looked the Deputy Chief of Staff straight in the eye and answered his question.

"Ask her to marry me."

He wasn't sure what he had expected Josh to say or do, but the last thing he had anticipated was the hunted look in the other man's eyes just before he picked up a book from the table, muttered his goodbyes, turned around and practically ran out the apartment.

And it was exactly that last action that confirmed Jack's suspicions. He knew now for a fact that Joshua Lyman was in love with his assistant. He felt sorry for him, but, he had had his time with her and his chance.

`I'm sorry Josh ... but ... I need her ... I can't let you have her.'

"It's my turn now."

"Your turn to do what?"

Donna's voice sounded like music in his ears and he slowly stood up and turned around. He was stunned to see her standing there in a strapless blue gown. Her hair pulled up in a bun with only a few curls dropping down. He had dreamt of this for so long and now they were finally here and it felt like heaven.

They just stood there for a while -not moving- just looking at each other and then Donna ended the silence. She asked one question, a simple question ... a question that made him cringe and threatened to destroy his hope and break his heart into a million pieces.

"Where is Josh?"

~~~

Josh entered his apartment and just sank down on his couch. He felt like throwing up, but nothing would come out. He just sat there. Replaying his last conversation with Jack Reese over and over again in his mind.

_"Ask her what?"_

That had been a stupid question to ask ... because somehow he had known what was coming ... he had known before the other man had pulled out the ring and had given him the answer.

_"Ask her to marry me."_

As simple answer to a simple question. And that had been it ... his cue to leave. How could he have stayed there? How could he stay in the presence of a man that was clearly very deeply in love with the woman he was about to propose to.

`The only woman I just happen to love too. How ironic, now I'll never be able to tell her just how badly I need her in my life. I won't be able to tell her that ... she is my life.'

He had lost her now ... for good. He knew Donna. She cared for Jack Reese, even though he had made her lie, she cared for him. And because of the lack of other interested men -men really were blind and stupid- she would say `yes' and her prince charming would take her away to Italy.

" --and I will never see her again and be miserable for the rest of my breathing days."

He added this to his last thought.

`Now, there's nothing left ... not even the hope that she might love me back.'

He smiled a rueful smile.

"God, how could I have ever even considered that a woman like her could actually love a disabled guy like me. I have been shot and have been diagnosed with PTSD. Quite the catch! No, there's nothing left--"

He looked down at the book in his hands. The girly book she had given him to read. He had picked it up from the table just before he had left. He didn't remember why he had taken it with him anymore. There had to have been a reason ... but he forgot. Maybe he had taken it just because it was hers ... she had clearly loved it when she was younger and obviously she still does.

He dragged his finger over the title of the book and read it out loud, as if he wanted to taste the sound of the syllables on his tongue.

"Persuasion ... Typical that she would love this book. It's just so ... Donna."

The book was written by Jane Austen and when working late at night, Donna had often shared her vast knowledge about the English author and the books she had written. She had been so passionate whenever she had spoken about the woman ... he had already understood back then that Jane Austen was not someone he wanted to mock. Donna would have given him the silent-treatment for days.

He chuckled when thinking back of their late nights in The White House. His smile quickly faded when he thought of how silent those nights would be without her. He looked back at the book in his hands.

"This is it ... the only thing I have left of Donnatella Moss. A book ... a stupid book."

Suddenly ... all the anger he had been feeling towards Jack Reese and towards himself, ever since he had left her building, came pouring out and he lifted his arm and threw the book with a heavy smack against the opposite wall. He instantly regretted it.

`If the book really is the only thing I have left from her ... then I should cherish it ... forever.'

With a sigh he stood up and went over to where the book had landed on the floor. He bent down, picked it up and was relieved to see that it hadn't been damaged. And then, out of the corner of his eye he saw something ... something that was lying a bit further up on the floor.

`Probably a bookmark.'

For the second time he bent down and picked up the bookmark ... only ... it wasn't a bookmark.

"What the hell ... a photograph?"

He stepped over to his desk, sat down and turned on his reading light. And he was absolutely stunned by what he saw. He had been right, it was a photograph, but not just any photograph. No, this one was special because he ... Joshua Lyman ... Deputy Chief of Staff to the President of The United States was in that picture. He had immediately recognised the younger version of himself. He looked like he was around the age of fifteen.

"What the hell?"

He started studying the rest of the picture. He appeared to be holding a little girl's hand and then it hit him ... he remembered that day. It was only yesterday that Steven had mentioned it ... this was a photograph taken on the day he had gotten lost in The White House. The day he had met the little blonde girl. He looked at her features and was thrown back into the past. She had told the President a funny thing ... the thought of it made him laugh out loud for a moment. It had been so funny -well- at the time he had been embarrassed, but ... it was still funny ...

_"Because I am going to marry him ..."_

He still clearly remembers going along in her childish fantasy for a while because he didn't want to disappoint her.

`What did I tell her again? Oh, yeah ... right.'

_"Don't cry! This is just goodbye, not farewell. There's a big difference between those two words. We'll meet again someday -I mean- how else am I going to be able to marry you. I can't marry you if I never see you again, can I now?"_

He smiled a warm smile when thinking back at that moment. He still remembered her eyes.

`They were so blue ... a lot like Donna's.'

Thinking of Donna suddenly snapped him back out of his reverie.

"What the hell is Donna doing with this picture? How did she get it? I wonder if--"

He slowly turned the photograph around and finally ... finally the message scribbled onto the picture by Maria Mandaglio-Moss on a dusty attic all those years ago, was read.

He read the words over and over again and then, slowly, he let the picture slip between his fingers and watched as it floated to the ground. It seemed to take ages before it reached the floor. It landed face up and revealed a little blonde girl tightly holding on to the hand of a curly teenager. He could do or say nothing ... just sit there ... and stare at the photograph and in the end he was only able to whisper a few words ... a few words that revealed the entire truth.

"Josh ... Josh has an `o' in it ... it was ... it is ... me."

And, finally, all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place and for the first time in years he felt like his life started making sense again.


	7. Persuasion 7

 

**Persuasion, Part 7**

**by:** Ellen  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Fluff  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al  
**Summary:** Sequel to Ancient History  
**Spoiler:** pre-series  
**Written:** 8/5/03  


* * *

Donna was running through the dark Washington streets as fast as her legs could carry her.

"DONNA! DONNA! WAIT ... WAIT ... PLEASE!"

She could vaguely hear his voice coming from the distance. But she didn't respond ... she just kept running and eventually the voice faded and drowned in the city noises. She kept running for a few blocks until she felt like she couldn't breath anymore. Breathing heavily she crashed down on the steps of a big townhouse. Her hands moved slowly up until they covered her entire face. Now the tears came.

"Why ... Why ... Why ... Oh God ... What have I done? What have I done?"

She could still clearly envision the ring. It had been so beautiful and elegant. It could have been hers if she had just said `yes'. The way he had gotten on his knees and had asked, the words he had used ... it had been all the right words ... words coming from the wrong man. Just one short answer and she would have been `settled'. But she wasn't looking for `settled'. `Settled' is when you have no options left and you just decide to marry the first decent guy who asks. And you know that you will care for him, but you won't love him.

No ... she wasn't looking for that. What she wanted was far more. She was looking for `happily ever after'. The real thing that will always be there ... no matter what. That -to use a cliché- one true love -you know- `Him' with a capital H. The only trouble was ... she knew beyond certainty that she had already met Him, that she knew Him and that she got Him, but she just wasn't the `Her' he was looking for.

`This sucks ... this so sucks! I should be happy right now ... I should have said `yes' and I should be happy. I deserve to be happy! This is so wrong! I must have been insane ... I declined marriage with a perfectly respectable man because I'm hopelessly in love with a guy that doesn't want me. How more messed up can this become?'

Suddenly, as if realisation finally dawned, she knew with absolute clarity what she needed to do. She needed to go back and tell Jack that she had been wrong running away like that and that she didn't really know why she did it. Then, if he still wanted her, she could say `yes' and marry him.

" --and move to Italy and leave my job, my friends and ... Josh."

With that last whispered sentence she finished her thought and made up her mind. There is no use in waiting for happiness for the rest of your days when you know with absolute clarity that it won't come. It's better to settle and to go with the thing you can have. And just like that the decision had been made and at that moment Donna could feel a physical ache going through her heart as if it had just been broken into a thousand tiny pieces.

She was pulled out of her deep thoughts by the ringing of a phone. At first she was a little disoriented, not really knowing where the incessant ringing came from ... but then she realised that it was her phone. She had her cell with her in her purse. She always took it everywhere so that Josh or someone else from work could contact her, regardless of where she was. She slowly took the phone out of her purse ... even without having checked the display she already knew who it would be. A quick glance at the phone confirmed her suspicions. She didn't pick up though.

"Not now, Josh ... not now. You're too late now ... too late ..."

She pushed the little disconnect-button on top of the phone and the ringing stopped. For a few moments she could do nothing but stare at the, now silent, cell phone.

"Donna?"

Startled by the voice she almost dropped it.

"Jack ... how ... how did you find me?"

"Well, it wasn't easy ... you know ... you're quite the sprinter. I had to go back to the restaurant to pick up my car. Then I just drove around ... hoping that I'd see you."

"Jack ... I-I-I--"

"It's okay Donna ... I understand."

"No, you don't, that's just it ... you don't understand. I have been an idiot ... waiting and craving for things that will never be mine. I've been a fool for the longest of times. I don't want to be that fool anymore. I want to feel like a real woman again. A woman that is loved and is capable to love without pain attached to that love. So Jack ... ask me again."

~~~

"What? I don't ... I don't understand."

"Ask me again and this time ... this time ... I will say `yes'."

Now Jack just stood there. Staring at the blonde woman he thought he knew so well ... the woman that he loved more than anything and that he wanted and needed beyond anything. The woman that had obviously been crying ... smudged make-up to prove it. He took a deep breath and then asked the question.

"Donna, will ..."

~~~

Frustrated, Josh was barely able to control his impulse to throw the phone against the wall.

"Damn it ... Donna ... just pick up the damn phone!"

In the back of his mind he knew that she wasn't going to pick it up. She had probably taken one look at the display of her phone and had pushed the disconnect-button. After all, it was the weekend and the only reason that her boss would be calling was for work ... as usual.

"This time it's not for work Donna ... this time it's to tell you that you are everything to me. You are the `happily ever after'-woman. You are ... `Her' with a capital H."

He finally gave up ... knowing that he was losing precious time. Pacing back and forward through his apartment he started to imagine her ... sitting in a restaurant with Jack. They would first eat something fancy -Donna loved `haute cuisine'- and afterwards Jack would drop down on one knee and pop the question and Donna ... she would just ... her eyes would light up like they always do when she is happy and she would cry out a happy `yes!'. And the people in the restaurant that had witnessed the joyous display would burst out in an impulsive applause ... and ... and that would be it, the end ... finito.

Suddenly he got a sick feeling in his stomach and he heavily sank down on his couch, burying his face in his hands.

"Oh man, this can't be happening ... I can't lose her ... I can't lose someone I love again."

He slowly raised his face and his eyes that only a few seconds ago were filled with fear and despair now showed a new quality. They showed the urge to battle, a strong believe that this wasn't over yet. He hadn't lost her yet and he was going to make damn sure that he wouldn't.

"I won't ... I won't lose her ... I won't let it happen again ... I won't."

Filled with new hope he picked up the phone again. Only this time he wasn't going to call Donna.

He formed the number that was scribbled onto a little card ... a card that never left the side of his phone. He heard someone picking up on the other end of the line.

"Huh, who is this and why are you calling me at 11.30 at night?"

"Hi Steven ... it's me ... I need your help. I'm ready to take that leap of faith now."

"Josh? What? I was already sleeping. What are you talking about? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"You could say that. Look Steven ... I need you to bear with me here. I don't have a lot of time but just hear me out. I wouldn't have called you at this hour if it wasn't important."

"Hmmm ... okay, shoot."

"You remember Donna?"

"Your assistant?"

"Yeah, well tonight ...."

~~~

"I can't believe what I'm about to do. You owe me big time for this Josh, and don't worry ... I'm going to collect on this one."

Steven was sitting up straight in his bed muttering to himself. Once again he had let Josh talk him into one of his brilliant schemes that always ... always ... turned out to be way less brilliant than he had anticipated.

"Ah well, it's for a good cause ... I suppose."

His friend had finally seen the light and had decided to take some action on the Donna-front. Steven just wished that he hadn't decided to do this on a Saturday evening at 11.30 -no- already 11.45 now.

Now he needed to call Donna. Apparently the woman wasn't picking up her phone and the reason to that was that she knew the numbers from the people she worked with and since she had a night off ... well ... you get the idea. Of course, Josh had come up with the fantastic idea that Donna didn't know Steven's number. So, now he had the honour of phoning the woman and giving her Josh's message complete with instructions.

He slowly started dialling the number Josh had given him.

"5-3-8-2-1-0-9-4-6-1"

He listened to the ringing of the dialling tone and then he heard her pick up.

"Donna Moss"

"Yes, hi ... Donna? It's me ... Steven Brooks. Do you remember me?"

"Uhmmm, yes ... you're Josh's friend ... right?"

Steven heard the unasked question -Why in the world are you calling me?- in the woman's voice.

"Yes, that's me. Uhmm, listen ... I'm going to make this really short because I'm really uncomfortable with this, but ... I got a call from Josh saying that you wouldn't answer his calls and--"

"What? I can't believe him ... he made you call me because I didn't answer my phone. Tell Josh that this is the weekend and that I'm not -I repeat- NOT coming in for work on a Saturday night!"

Steven could hear that the clearly upset woman was getting ready to disconnect the call.

"No, don't hang up! Please ... hear me out ... Josh doesn't want to talk to you about work."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that ... pffff ... you know what ... it really isn't my place to tell you ... he has to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Just go over to the White House. Josh will be there ... ready to explain everything. Where are you right now?"

"I just came home."

"Okay, leave now."

"But--"

"No but ... just go. Hear the guy out ... I promise ... it's not about work and you won't be disappointed."

"If it's not about work ... then what is it about? Has something happened?"

"You might say that. Just go -oh- and when you arrive? Don't go to Josh's office but go to ... what was the name again ... oh yeah ... go to Toby's office."

"Toby's office? That doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know. Listen, I need to get some sleep now ... I have an early meeting tomorrow. So, I'm going to put down this phone and hang up on you and you are going to go to the White House ... right?"

No response came from the other side of the line ... Steven repeated his question.

"Right?"

A hesitant Donna replied.

"Yeah, right."

"Good ... and good luck."

"Thanks ... WAIT! Luck for what?"

It was too late though. Steven had already disconnected and Donna was left alone with her thoughts.

~~~

"Okay ... okay ... calm down Lyman. You can do this ... you can do this. I mean, how hard can it be? You have verbally killed off more than one Republican, surely you're able to tell Donna that you love her. Yeah ... I'm so screwed."

Josh was pacing up and down Toby's office. Luckily Toby wasn't there anymore. Josh knew that there was no chance in hell that he could go through with what he was about to do with Toby lurking around his office. There was only one person that needed to hear what he had to say and that was Donna. Getting tired of the pacing  
he sat down on the couch.

`Maybe that will help me calm down a bit.'

It didn't though. If anything ... it made him feel even more anxious. With a nervous voice he started talking to himself in a failing attempt to relax.

"My God ... what am I going to do? What if she has already said `yes' to Jack ... she will think I'm a fool. Or what if she doesn't feel the same way about me?"

His last question just kept hanging in the air. He was afraid of the answer ... more than anything ... he was afraid of the answer to that question.

`It doesn't matter.'

He tried to convince himself.

`At least she will know. That's all I want and need right now. So, when she walks in here I'll tell her ... I'll tell her the whole truth. The photograph, the way I feel about her ... everything she wants to know. I will tell her everything.'

"But ... oh my God ... how will she react? How will she react?"

And with that he stood up, put his hand in his pocket, took out the gift he had bought for her to make her understand, stared at it for a moment, put it back in his pocket and then ... once again started to pace through Toby's office. Silently and anxiously awaiting the arrival of one Donnatella Moss.

~~~

Donna stepped out of her car. She had just arrived at the White House and was seething with anger. He had done it again. First he had just run off without saying goodbye after the unpacking of the boxes and now this. Once again he had taken over control and ... once again she had come running at his command.

"One of these days. I swear Joshua ... one of these days--"

While crossing the guard at the entrance she started wondering why the Hell she needed to come to work in the middle of a Saturday night. If this was one of Josh's `sabotage Donna's date'-actions there would be Hell to pay.

"You'd better have a good reason for this Josh ... a damn good reason. So, unless the country is about to be bombed by aliens, I'm going to kick your butt."

Donna kept muttering to herself all the way up to the communications bullpen. Getting more and more angry with every step she took.

Before she knew it she had reached Toby's office. She halted.

`I still have time to leave ... I could just leave and go home again. It would serve him right!'

After a short pause she decided she couldn't do that. No matter how much she wanted it ... the fact remained that he was still her boss and she was still his assistant. That didn't mean she was planning on making it easy on him though. So, she took a deep breath and opened the door.

"This'd better be good Joshua!"

~~~

Upon hearing her angry voice Josh quickly turned around. He had been looking through the window so he had known that she had arrived, but he hadn't expected her to reach this office so quickly. The moment he laid eyes upon her his breath caught for a moment. She was still wearing the gown from her date with Jack and she looked absolutely breathtakingly amazing. After a few seconds he found his voice again and tried to open the conversation with a joke.

"Well, that was quick. What did you do ... run?"

He knew Donna had instantly realised that he had just made a sad attempt to break the ice. She wasn't going to make it that easy on him though and to be honest ... he never expected her to.

"Josh?"

"Donna."

"Are aliens about to bomb the planet?"

Now Josh was just looking at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Huh?"

"Has the Cold War returned and are the Russians about to nuke us? Or have the Republicans decided they can't take Democratic leadership anymore and are they about to overthrow the Government?"

"Donna ... I don't--"

"Cause if none of these things are happening right now -at this very minute- then WHY THE HELL AM I HERE?"

This was it. Josh recognised it the moment it had arrived ... the window of opportunity. This was his window, now all he had to do was tell her ... tell her everything. Of course, Josh being Josh, he only uttered once sentence.

"You can't marry him."

`Oh fantastic ... way to go Lyman ... four cheers for you and a good whacking over the head!'

"What?"

"You can't marry him."

`Ohwww, you said it again ... you idiot!'

~~~

"Is that it? Is that the reason why you made me drag my butt over to The White House ... to tell me that I can't marry Jack?"

She was now looking directly into Josh's sheepish eyes. They wouldn't help him though ... not this time. Donna was boiling with fury.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Telling me what I can and can't do with my personal life! You're my boss Josh! DO YOU HEAR ... MY BOSS ... NOT MY FATHER!"

Somewhere in the back of her mind she was thankful that it was the middle of the night and that not too many people would be around to witness her outburst.

"Donna? Are you going to marry him? Cause you can't ... you know."

All of a sudden her anger just disappeared and all that was left was sadness and fatigue.

"Josh, stop telling me what to do with my life. I'm a big girl ... I know what I'm doing."

She stopped talking and contemplated for a moment whether or not she should tell him the events that had occurred only an hour and a half ago.

`Pffff, why the hell not ... the humiliation can't get any worse.'

"And for your information Josh ... I'm not going to marry him."

"Why?"

"Why? First you tell me not to marry him and then when I say I'm not, you have the audacity to ask me ... why?"

"Yes. Why?"

Donna thought back on the conversation she and Jack had had on those cold steps of that old townhouse. It had been an awkward but honest conversation. A talk she could never share with Josh though ... it just gave away too much information ... information on things and feelings she never wanted him to find out.

~An hour and a half earlier~

_"Ask me again and this time ... this time ... I will say `yes'."_

Jack had just looked at her strangely as if he wasn't looking at the woman he knew so well but at some stranger. And then he had asked. Not the question she had expected though.

"Donna, will you promise me that if you marry me you will do so ... only because you love me and not because you are running away from someone else?"

"Jack, I don't understand. What--"

"Oh, come on Donna! It's so obvious! You love him and now ... now you are running away from him by telling me that you will accept my proposal. And you know what? I can't ... no ... I won't do that! I don't want to be someone's second choice ... someone you settle for but you don't really love. That's not what I want Donna and I'm fairly sure it's not what you need either ... is it?"

Now Donna was just staring at him.

"Jack, I--"

"There's nothing more to say Donna. Your silence says it all. I just hope that you get whatever you're looking for and whatever you want. You deserve it. I'm not so sure he deserves you though. The man is absolutely clueless."

Slowly Jack started turning around but just before he walked away he turned one last time and said:

"Tell him Donna. He deserves to know that he is loved by one of the most amazing women I have ever met."

"I wish I could. How I wish I could, but I can't, it will change everything ... make it weird between us."

"Give him a chance ... maybe he's not as thick as we both seem to think he is. Well, goodbye Donna."

At that he turned again and walked away.

"Goodbye ... Jack."

She silently whispered these last words at his retreating form.

~

Josh was still looking at her expectantly.

"Why? Just because ... Josh ... just because."

"That's not a real answer."

Donna just gave him a rueful smile.

"Well, you can't have it all ... can you?"

"No, I suppose not."

Donna looked at him and decided that now it was her time ... her time to ask the questions. There were a few things that just didn't make any sense and she needed answers.

"So, tell me ... Why?"

Now it was Josh's turn to look puzzled.

"Why what?"

"Why have you made your friend Steven call me. Why was it so important to come here? And most importantly ... why couldn't I have married Jack?"

~~~

`Okay, this is it! This can go two ways ... one, I just tell her everything and she hugs and kisses me and all is well with the world or ... two, I tell her everything and she slaps me, floors me and thanks me with a huge sexual harassment sue. Oh, please God, let it be option one.'

He inhaled deeply once more and then jumped into the deep.

"Because you are already engaged."

That statement was followed by a genuine dumbfounded response by Donna.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, you are engaged and as you know it is not legal to marry two men. There's a thing -uhmmm- a law against polygamy. It's really against the -uhmmm- law. I already said that ... didn't I?"

A knowing smile suddenly appeared on Donna's face.

"Josh, have you been drinking again?"

Frustrated, Josh threw his arms up in the air.

"No, why is it that every time I try to tell you something important you think that I have been drinking?"

"Well, maybe because you never really tell me anything that is really worth while."

"Yeah, well ... I haven't been drinking and I am serious this time. This is important."

Suddenly he started to pace the room again, frantically going through his hair with his hands. Donna just sighed as she saw that he was going to take his time to tell her ... whatever he needed her to know.

"I can see that this is going to take a while. So, if you don't mind ... I'm just going to sit down a bit."

At that she sat down on the couch while a half smile appeared on her face. This was a sign that she had just decided to make some fun of him.

"So, really? I am engaged? Hmmm, so ... help me out here. I am not aware of anyone asking me to marry him. So, who exactly am I engaged to?"

Josh immediately recognised `trying to be funny'-Donna.

`Oh, no ... not now ... you're not pulling the mockery and the funny on me now. You want an answer ... I'll give you an answer.'

"Me!"

~~~

`Did Josh just say we are engaged?'

"What! You? Are you serious? You have never asked me to marry you. That's how engagements work ... you know. You ask and I answer, oh my God Josh ... you ARE drunk, aren't you?"

"NO! Why do you keep insisting that I'm drunk? What do you think I am? An alcoholic?"

"Josh--"

"No, Donna ... hear me out ... okay?"

Donna -still not convinced that he wasn't drunk- held up her hands in fake surrender.

"Okay."

"Good. Here it goes. You're right ... I didn't ask you. You told the president that we were getting married."

It took a few moments before Donna was able to respond.

"I have told the president that we were getting married? I have told the ... What the hell are you talking about? I have never ... I repeat …NEVER talked to the President about us and certainly not about us getting married. Are you delusional?"

She stood up from the couch, ready to leave.

"Go home Josh. You're tired ... get some sleep. I will see you in the office on Monday."

At that Josh jumped in front of her to prevent her from leaving the office.

"This is it Donna. This is THE office where it all began ... all those years ago. You and me, we were here."

"Josh, you are not making any sense -I mean- listen to yourself. You are telling me that I told President Bartlet that I'm going to marry you ... I mean ... Josh."

"No, you're not listening Donna ... I never said `Bartlet' ... I said `President'."

"Josh--"

"No, Donna. Sit down ... I want to show you something and I think you need to sit down for this."

Donna clearly didn't know what to think of this but as she looked into Josh's eyes she saw nothing but honesty and truthfulness ... so she decided to take place on the couch again.

"Thank you."

Josh went over to Toby's desk and picked up the item that had been lying there for the entire conversation. He stepped over to the couch, but instead of sitting down on it he sank down on his knees just in front of Donna. Then he handed her the piece of paper and said:

"You said I was the one you were going to marry. You can't take it back. You said it in the Oval Office. That makes it real ... don't you think?"

~~~

Donna could do nothing but stare at the photograph in her hands. She had immediately recognised it. It was the picture taken of her ... years ago when she had gotten lost in The White House. And this boy ... this curly boy with the beautiful eyes had helped her and calmed her. Her mind was working overtime, trying to process the information she had just received. Without taking her eyes of the image she asked:

"How did you get this picture? I don't--"

Josh didn't give her time to finish her sentence.

"The girly book. It was inside of it."

"Persuasion."

She silently whispered the title of the book ... the book she loved so much. The book that ...

`Oh my God ... I put this picture inside of it when my mom had written the message on the back.'

Slowly she turned the picture around and once again the message was read.  


She smiled when thinking back at how embarrassing she had found those words when she had been sixteen. As soon as she found her voice she uttered her confusion about the whole situation.

"Josh, I don't get why this picture is so special to you ... I don't--"

Then, suddenly, she stopped talking.

`Wait a minute ...'

She turned the photograph face up again and started studying the brown-haired teenager that had treated her so kind at the time.

`How could I have forgotten about this? Could it be ... could it really be?'

"Donna?"

She heard the unasked question in his voice and slowly lifted up her head to meet his eyes. And then ... staring right into his big, brown beautiful eyes ... she remembered everything. She now had a clear recollection of telling the President that she was going to marry him. This curly haired boy whose name had an `o' in it. But most of all she remembered his eyes ... Josh's eyes.

"Josh--"

"Yes?"

"Your name has an `o' in it."

"Yes."

"It's you ... isn't it? It has been you all along."

"Yes."

"Is that why I can't marry Jack?"

"Yes."

"Because I proposed to you all those years ago?"

"Well ... yes ... there's that and then there's the other thing."

"What other thing?"

"Well ... the little matter of ... how much I would miss you if you were to marry him."

"You would miss me?"

"Yeah ... very much."

"Why? I need to know ... why?"

"Because--"

Josh just looked her straight in the eye and without pulling a muscle he said the three words she had waited for -now as it seemed- ever since the age of four.

" --I love you."

"You love me?"

"Yes."

She softly started to cry, her hands still clutching on to the photograph.

"Are you sure? Because I couldn't handle it if you were to wake up tomorrow and realise that you were wrong. It would break my heart Josh ... it would break my heart."

Josh gently removed the picture from her fidgeting hands. He put it on the seat beside her and then he put his hands over hers.

"I am sure ... Donna ... I have never been more sure about anything in my whole life. There's only one thing I regret right now."

Donna immediately felt fear welling up inside her.

"What? What do you regret?"

"That I haven't done this--"

He slowly brought his face closer to hers and kissed her ever so softly on the lips. He pulled away again and finished his sentence.

"-- a few years sooner."

'Oh my God, Josh has kissed me ... Josh has kissed me ... I HAVE KISSED JOSH!'

~~~

From his sitting position in front of her Josh could see how Donna's mouth started to curl into a small smile. He wasn't sure what he expected her to do after the kiss, but this was sure better than all the other scenario's he had come up with. She didn't seem to dislike the idea of them together that much.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted you to do that?"

Now it was his time to smile and he started grinning like a fool.

"How long?"

"Since I was four apparently."

"Oh, really? Was that why you said `no' to Jack?"

Just for a second he caught a glimpse of sadness in her eyes, but before he had time to respond to it ... it had disappeared and she looked happy again. She brought up her hands, caressed his face and replied.

"Something like that ... something like that."

Josh knew that he wasn't going to find out what had been said between her and Jack anytime soon, but when it came to Donna he could muster up the patience. He'd wait because he knew that one day she would tell him ... just not today. He didn't care though ... because he got the girl and that was all that mattered.

"Well, then I guess we will have to make up for a lot of lost time -I mean- since you were four. That's a very long time, Donna."

"Oh, it most definitely is ... most definitely. So, tell me ... why here? Why in Toby's office?"

"Because this was it ... the place where we met. The office of the Deputy Chief of Staff Keith Miller ... a grumpy man with a very nice and kind assistant."

"Hmmm, where have I heard that before?"

"Hey, be nice or I might just change my mind about all of this."

"No, you won't."

"No ... I won't."

Donna dropped her hands back to her lap and tore her eyes away from his gaze to look around the office.

"So, here huh ... to think of all the times we came in here ... not knowing what we know now."

"Yeah ... oh ... that reminds me. I've got something for you."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a red strawberry-flavoured lollipop.

"Oh, strawberry ... those are my favourite."

"I know ... you told me. Remember?"

"Oh my God, that's right!"

Donna took the lollipop out of his hands and quickly stood up, almost knocking Josh to the ground in the process. She didn't seem to register it though ... she was now lost in memories.

"I was behind the couch, only it wasn't here, it was up against that wall."

Now she was pointing at the opposite wall.

"I wouldn't come out ... but then you offered me a lollipop ... a red strawberry one, my favourite. Josh ... after all those years ... you remembered the red lollipop?"

"Hey, I remember everything."

"Oh, that's so sweet. You really can be very sweet sometimes."

Donna couldn't stop the tears that were falling from her eyes ... again. She slowly leaned against the wall and slid her body down until she was sitting. Josh quickly joined her and put his arm around her.

"Go ahead, eat it. It's ... I believe I used the word 'yummy' all those years ago."

She did as he suggested, unwrapped the lollipop and brought it to her mouth.

"Divn't vou vuy vone vor youffelf?"

"Huh?"

She took the lollipop out of her mouth and repeated the question.

"Didn't you buy one for yourself?"

His devious smirk reappeared.

"Nah, I figured there would be a much better way to taste it."

At that he suggestively wiggled his eyebrows and Donna decided to play along.

"Oh, yeah ... what way did you have in mind Mr. Lyman?"

"This way--"

And once again he brought his face closer to hers. His breath fastening and his eyes locking on to hers. He could feel her shivering with anticipation.

`Oh yeah ... Lyman ... you still have it!'

Slowly he tucked away some hair behind her ear and cupped her face with his left hand.

"You are the most beautiful woman that has ever walked the surface of this planet ... do you know that?"

"Josh--"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Ah-kay."

And then they were kissing. But this time she wasn't prepared to let him go so fast and she pressed her lips on his. The kiss deepened and they just sat there, marvelling in the new sensation it created. Happy to finally be together and ...

"Wow, wait a minute ... I'm fairly certain there's something you've forgotten to tell me here."

Josh reluctantly pulled his lips away from her mouth to face her with the facts. She started to smile.

"Oh, really ... what then?"

"Well, you know ... I told you that I love you and then it's only normal for you to say the same thing."

"What ... tell myself that I love me?"

"Do-nna!"

And just like that whiny-Josh had made his appearance. Without saying another word Donna pulled him closer and kissed his eyelids, his nose and his mouth. Then she looked him straight in the eyes and said:

"Joshua Lyman, I hereby solemnly declare that I, Donnatella Moss -also known as the girl who never brings you coffee and never gets a raise- love you more than anything or anyone in the whole wide world. Okay?"

She looked at him expectantly.

"Okay."

This was the only reply he could give before her lips were on his again.

`Hmm, I can get used to kissing Donna ... especially strawberry-flavoured Donna ... oh yeah.'

"Oh, wait a minute."

This time it was Donna that pulled away.

"Josh ... give me your cell phone."

"Huh?"

"Just give me your cell phone."

"Well, I can already see who is going to be the boss in this relationship."

"Josh."

"Okay, okay. Here you go."

He handed her the phone and she quickly began dialling a number. While she was pressing the receiver to her ear she looked at Josh again and smiled. A smile that made him breathless for a moment. Then he heard a faint voice answering the call on the other end of the line.

"Mom ... hi ... it's me."

Josh was stunned for a moment.

'She calls her mother at a time like this?'

He listened as the conversation continued.

"Sorry to call you at this hour, but ... guess what?"

Apparently her mother guessed wrong.

"No, not that ... mom ... do you remember the boy at The White House when I was four. You know ... when I got lost?"

Donna listened intently to her mother's answer.

"Yeah, that one ... his name did have an `o' in it mom ... but it wasn't Tom or John ... it was Josh ... all this time ... it was Josh."

She had whispered the last three words while staring at Josh's loving eyes. He stared right back and held out his hand, she slowly put the lollipop in her mouth and put her hand on his. Carefully he folded his fingers around it. And when he felt her sticky fingers pressed against his own he couldn't suppress a big grin and there was only one thought that crossed his mind.

`Some things never change.'

~THE END~


End file.
